Post 211: The antidote to depression

It's sunny outside, but I'm not sure if I feel the same way. Lately, more often than not I'm feeling down.  I mean maybe I shouldn't feel that way because technically I'm off for summer vacation from my other job. I do have a part time one teaching a college class. Which is cool except I haven't done zoom in four years.  I tell everyone it's a learning curve, and on the bright side I did figure out how to turn on my camera on my computer (F10) (I watched a video online) Thanks to the content creator. So, hopefully, things will improve. 

I also feel very, very tired. I don't know if it's the new medication I am taking for a health issue or not, or just the change in routine. Hopefully, my body will adapt. If not, I guess I'll just have to suck it up.

Back to depression. At this very moment, I don't feel so bad. But if dwell. I suppose when we dwell, it makes us unwell. But more important, is what we focus on.

Things I would like to improve on

1) Relationships. Sometimes, I see people in relationships and get angry and jealous. and let's not forget sad. I know what it's like to be in a relationship. The good and the bad. I miss those days. I wonder what will it take for me to meet someone who has the traits I seek?

2) Health

3) Finances

I've read that the antidote to depression is action. Yesterday, after spending most of my day inside because of the poor weather I went for a short walk, and spent time sitting on a bench.  I read somewhere that amongst some hunter-gatherer tribes in Africa they experience no depression.  It's been speculated that this is the case because they:

a) A lot of time in the sun

b) are very physically active

c) Get a lot of sleep

d) spent a great deal of time with each other. (Family and friends)

I just returned from walking with my mother and brother at the park. I have to say it made a difference. Three out of four of the above. I also went to a local historical site called Cedarmere and watched the water from the porch while drinking a latte. Pretty relaxing too, and a good distraction. I know that distraction isn't problem-solving, but it can make us feel good in the short term/

The Japanese talk about forest bathing. How spending time in nature lowers our stress levels. I would argue it doesn't hurt to boost our mood, too. Food for thought.

Post 210: Fatherless on Father's day

What do you do if you are an adult who could be a father but isn't yet? You haven't found the right person or don't want to be a parent.

How does Father's Day affect you? Truthfully, I find it a bit painful. I have to say I am a bit jealous sometimes of those with families, and I wonder when I will be able to enjoy the trials and tribulations of parenting. I have no illusions. I know being a parent isn't easy. I hear all the stories from my colleagues at work and from my siblings and friends. So I applaud all the mothers and fathers out there.

But now that my father has died, it seems as my family ages, we celebrate life events like Father's Day less frequently. Instead of a BBQ, I am planting trees for him or going to the cemetery to honor his memory.

I am 57 years old, and I wonder if someone will ever do the same for me? I wish I had a crystal ball, but I don't know.

All I can do is honor my father's memory and the great man he was and acknowledge my friends and family who are fathers. I think jealousy is dangerous, and the antidote is sympathy for all the challenges parents go through, and to share your appreciation, happiness, and love. 

Happy Father's Dad!  and to all the fathers out there.

This message was sent late, but better than never. I hope the same can be said for me some day.

Post 209: From My Window

 I can see the haze over the water from where I live. It never used to be this bad. It bothers me that naysayers claim global warming is a myth, and I want to ask them. What will it take before you do believe? How hot does the planet have to get?  Are you willing to live on the coast in a house without stilts?

I am all for improving business in our country, but there has to be a balance, and I fear it may be too late for our planet.  Witness what's going on in India with their pollution levels.  Canada is supposed to be known for their cold temperatures not burning trees. Will this be the new normal? I don't know. I hope not.

I believe there is still time if the world acts together. 

Post 208: Levine's in Las Vegas

I just got back from Las Vegas.  A good trip with a few memorable moments. I know they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but the truth is there weren't too many salacious moments to warrant complete silence.

I went there with my friend Richard and his fiancé Ellen.  We were joined by Ellen's parents, sister, brother, their spouses, and two of Ellen's female friends.  It was not what I would call a wild group. There were no Hangover experiences. In fact, I didn't drink at all the whole time I was there. Which some of my friends at work were surprised at. The truth is I didn't want to drive drunk or be too tired to drive, and I am not a great night driver. My friend Mark suggested that was what Uber was for.  I guess for many people that would be right.

I stayed at the Elara hotel and had to sit through a time share talk on Saturday.  It was two hours long but not too bad. Considering I got 3 nights in a very nice hotel for $250. It used to be even cheaper ($99)

Of course I still had to pay for meals and other entertainment and the rental car. Which many people never use but I got to do some great side trips like seeing Red Rock Canyon again.

My time share person named Steve was pretty nice, but once he saw that I was pleading poverty he didn't force the issue to buy too strongly.  They did however bring in a closer like a used car manager to try to work me over, and Steve did say at one point that travel was more important than housing. I stared at him and replied, "Have you tried living in NYC recently?" He also stated that he used to live in Queens 20 years ago, but when I asked him where he said he didn't remember.  Which seemed very suspicious or just a blatant lie. They probably just want to build rapport, but really?

The Elara is a great hotel, but from I hear timeshares are a scam.  They charge you a booking fee each time which could be $250 and the HOA fee goes up every year.

Speaking of the hotel it had floor to ceiling windows and a pretty nice of view of the strip, a hot tub which I didn't use mostly because Vegas in running out of water and I didn't want to abuse it.  Also, a hot tub by yourself is pretty lonely if only I had 1 to 2 chicks to join me that would be great. I guess I can still dream. The room also had a projector that displayed movies, porn, or even CNN on the wall-size shades. Amazing. A far cry from the Hampton Inn.

It was a Junior suite which included a fridge, dishwasher, and an oven which I never used.  There was also a shopping center and was connected to Planet Hollywood, but no casino.

We did several things during the trip to celebrate my friend Richard's girlfriend's 50th birthday.  Ironically I dated here too in the past for six weeks, but that is water under the bridge, and I thought it would be awkward being there with her and her family but it really wasn't.

We went to dinner at Gordon Ramsey's Hell Kitchen. Very fancy, but my food was just OK. Last year I went to the Bacchanal at Caesar's Palace which was way better.  The interesting thing is that my friend Peter (who was not with us) looks exactly like Gordon Ramsey and when he went to Vegas a few years ago a woman tried to network with him thinking he was Ramsey. I told Peter he should have tried to work it, but he took the high road and didn't.

The nice thing about the trip was that I was able to take a few vacation days from work so it wouldn't affect me, and my Jetblue flight was very smooth.  I sat by the window and while I did sit next to a very rotund bride to be, she was extremely nice and it didn't seem like she was crowding me at all. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed your wedding at the Luxor.

We all stayed (not the bride) at the Elara and it worked out well for taking Ubers. I did however rent a car which proved to be very helpful when we went to Rick's friend's house for a BBQ in the suburbs of Las Vegas.  It also helped that I was able to go to Target to pick up a few things at a cheaper price than my hotel and also get me to breakfast at a great place called A Broken Egg ( I believe) It was awesome. I highly recommend, and will post pics of my meal.  Some people wanted to go for the less expensive meal, but in my book I would rather go for the place in the middle and enjoy it.

We also took a drive to Red Rock Canyon. It was great but you should make reservations online or with the app otherwise unless there is availability it is only through timed admission.

Also, it gets cold there sometimes so I suggest dressing in layers.  In addition, stop at the visitor center. They have some good facts about the history and also things to watch out for like the Pepsi bug which has a very painful bite, etc. There are some great trails to hike on, and some people did rock climbing. (Not me) There are also a few stops pictograms or petroglyphs I'm not sure which but worth checking out.  Also make sure you get out of there before the sun goes done. There are no lights in the park after dark.

This trip I didn't go to see the Bellagio water show, but we did go to to see Cirque de soleil Beatles at the Mirage hotel. We all sat in the first four rows which is a great vantage spot for seeing it, but I was a bit tired so I recommend going to an earlier show if possible. It was great though, and the music was excellent.

One funny thing happened though before the performance. I went to the men's room and after I finished using the urinal I saw a fairly well-dressed guy with a plate and a cup on the bathroom sink eating 1/2 a pastrami sandwich. What he was doing eating a sandwich in the bathroom confounded me and he then later joined his girlfriend outside. Why was he eating in the bathroom? Not the most sanitary of places to eat.  I mean the only thing worse might as well be to go number #2 and eat a sandwich at the same time.  I suppose if you want to be efficient.

Some other good moments. I saw a few other casinos that I haven't seen before including: New York, New York that actually has a rollercoaster on the ceiling, The Sahara (They were very nice to me there and the pit boss allowed me to play $10 blackjack when she saw I was clueless) And fortunately I only lost $60.  The house always wins.

Another hidden treasure is the monorail.  It costs money. I believe it was $5 for one trip, but you can do one trip or even 1-3 days.  I used it a few times and though I didn't get my money's worth it was probably cheaper than an Uber and allowed me to bypass the crowds on the strip. It also goes the length of strip if you don't want to walk the entire mile.

One thing I also recommend is checking out the Stratosphere. Although the neighborhood around it seemed a bit sketchy.  I saw an arrest by the ticket line for the ride to the top. These casino's don't mess around. It was the second arrest I saw on my trip. I saw another man get arrested for supposedly stealing at Binions on Freemont street. Which I will talk about later. I got to the Stratosphere at 9:45 AM, a good time to get there and at 10 AM promptly the women sold me a ticket to the top.  I asked if they take AAA for a discount but she said no but they would take 55 and over for $10. Lets face it these days every dollar counts. Especially if you like to gamble.

I thought the elevator up would but scary but it wasn't and after going through a security checkpoint (they scan for weapons) the ride was very fast.  The attraction opens at 10 when most people are sleeping but  your ticket is good all day so I could go back later if I wanted.  I imagine the view from the top at night is probably very special as well.  Next time I also want to go on the Ferris wheel. It's supposed to be great view too.

Anyway, I had a grilled cheese, cookie, and coffee when I got up there. (My first meal of the day) It's an awesome spot to admire the Las Vegas.  It was a bit lonely though being by myself but the fact of the matter is the birthday girl and ultimately her boyfriend both came down with COVID. Not a very good birthday gift at all.  The view however was great and you can go up on the roof where they actually have two rides (very few takers) including one which takes you over the edge with nothing under you. Not for for me. LOL. I did enjoy the scenery though. 

Freemont street is another must see.  That is the location of the original Vegas.  It is a wild scene and ever wilder than the strip. there are women with only pasties looking to take a picture with you for a tip and at the D. Hotel scantily women deal blackjack and some also dance on tables. My kind of place. Although I think it would be a distraction while playing and would not  help my game too much.

The ceiling above Freemont is filled with a technicolor screen and even a zip line for the distance.  There are also bands playing every block many of which are excellent, and lots and lots of lights.  Further away is container park. Container Park is interesting but when I went not that busy. Maybe it is busier over the summer. There is a large insect at the front (A grasshopper I think) that moves to music and breathes fire at intervals. Pretty cool.  There is also a band that plays in the back, a children's playground, and stores and restaurants created out of shipping containers. Definitely interesting. I just wish they had more foot traffic.

After Container Park our merry band went back to explore Freemont street.  We listened to music and shopped in Binions. An older casino which looks a bit worn down. They do have a store that sells very good Las Vegas inspired clothing at excellent prices.  Ellen gambled a bit there and I saw a man get arrested for supposedly stealing. He denied it, but the security guards may have recognized him. I don't know.

One place I did enjoy was an Italian restaurant that specializes in pizza called Pizza Rock. It is off Fremont street and I think I mentioned that a few fire fighters last trip recommended it to me.  They have menus with rock albums on them and rock music constantly playing. They also have the front part of a truck in the restaurant. There was a bit of wait to sit but it was worth it. I had Detroit style pizza (very thick) but quite good. Best if shared with a few people.

Others had Margarita pies I believe. Best if very hot.  Rick had a beer with a high alcohol percentage. I didn't drink because I drove.

My last night in Vegas I did my own thing...Lets leave it at that. 

The next day I drove Rick and Ellen to the airport.  I didn't want them to deal with the hassle because they were recovering from sickness. I haven't spoken to them since, but I intend to.

When I was about to leave Vegas.  I took advantage of my Priority Pass which allows you to have access to a lounge with less people than the airport and free food and drinks.  Although the one in Vegas did not have that many hot food items. I did snag some nice pasta and soup and free coffee. Unfortunately they didn't have any yogurt.

One tip when traveling is that I try to have yogurt everyday to boost my immune system and prevent food poisoning. It usually works, and did this time.

My flight was leaving in a little while and I didn't want to wait on the priority pass bathroom line. Big mistake.  Instead I used the one in the airport.  I sat down in the stall adjacent to a handicap bathroom and was about to do my business when a hand came into my stall from the handicap side. I screamed "What the hell!" and the hand retracted.  Shortly thereafter the person on that side got up and left.

It was then that I noticed that there was a large hole above the toilet paper dispenser. I think the person only wanted to get toilet paper. Maybe they didn't  have any on there side. Or maybe he wanted to grab my junk. I don't know. I didn't stick around long enough to find out.

Fortunately the flight back was uneventful, but in retrospect I think it would be best to either check my bag, and leave enough room in it for souvenir's. I keep bringing small bags which leads me to run out of clean clothes and no room for things I buy.

Also Delta claims the flight was extended leg room, but I really believe it depends on the type of plane you are on. It really didn't feel like extended room.  I wish I had splurged for first class. Next time.

Life Lesson 208: Remember the Las Vegas Rules

1) What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (Except if you get COVID or the clap)

2) Always go for the upgrade when you can. It's worth the extra money. I upgraded one Hilton night and I am glad I did.

3) Travel with friends who are fun and flexible, but don't be afraid to do your own thing when you can. It can be memorable too.

4) Don't be afraid to take the less traveled path (like the monorail) even if that path is a strip of hotels

5) Never eat in a bathroom in a casino even if your GF/BF is vegan

6) Always use a priority pass bathroom if you can and check out any other bathroom before you use it.

7) Hit attractions when they open

8) Reserve your spot: restaurants, Red Rock Canyon, etc.

9) Don't be afraid to ask for a discount: AAA, 55+, blackjack. You never know

10) Do your research: Trip Advisor, Yelp, etc., but don't forget some locals are even better.

11) Eat yogurt daily

12 Bring a bag with extra room for gifts

Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor, just keep in mind the House usually wins.

Photo by Parsa Mahmoudi on Unsplash

Pet Peeves Continued

 OK, I know we have been down this road before, and I realize that people have a right to their opinion and to do what want to do, but come on really? really? In a word Chutzpah, or maybe just plain selfishness. Here are some examples. I wish someone would reply and support me and tell me they agree or share a few of their own.

Exercising: So last night I went walking at 8:30 PM on the Cross Island Path in Queens, New York. For those who are out of town Russia, Israel, etc. It is a about a 1 mile path, I think, that has a beautiful view of the Throgs Neck bridge. I am pleased to report that when I started walking it was cool, many were out to enjoy the night, and they finally installed lights so people could walk safely along the path. 

My pet peeves: 

1) Children riding bicycles without helmets.  I've been seeing this more and more.  In New York State it is illegal for children under 14 to ride a bicycle without a helmet. I saw a boy about 5 or 6 riding a bike last night without one who kept looking back and waiting for his parents neither of which were wearing helmets either.  traumatic brain injury might occur.  They probably don't realize that someone died on this path after they drove their electric vehicle off the road.

The other thing that concerns me is that I think very young children might better off in a space without motorized vehicles. Sometimes people drive electric bikes at a very high rate of speed and it's an accident waiting to happen.  Even in the street I see children walking against traffic. What is wrong with these parents?  Have you ever thought of using the sidewalk?

I want to yell at others who are riding the electric bikes and electric skateboards/scooters to "Slow the hell down!" maybe ride where they aren't so many pedestrians and small children. Perhaps in the street instead.

I also belong to a local pool and walk in the "Walking lane" to get some exercise. Some people just stand in the lane, and when I ask them to move they look at me like I have 3 heads.  Or how some women walk two or three abreast despite the fact that the lane is quite narrow. I hate to say it but these women speak in a foreign language  ( I won't say which) who seem to ignore anyone who doesn't speak theirs.  Where is you compassion and consideration? Selfishness. Chutzpah.

I keep thinking these revenge scenarios, but it just gets me angry, and because there is a shortage of lifeguards it's almost like a free for all in the park.  For the first time I saw people vaping on the pool deck. Where is there awareness. Also tons of garbage left behind.  I guess there are rules for a reason.

2) Conspiracy nuts jobs.  Look, I liked the show X-files like many people and believe that in all the universes there must be extraterrestrial life, but at some point you have to stop believing fringe social media/media and take a few breaths and start thinking for yourself.

First of all please stop listening to the Trump-loving conspiracy theorists who claim that the presidency was stolen. It wasn't. Stop crying and get over it already.  Put your energy and efforts into real issues. Have you looked around the world?  Have you picked up a legit newspaper like the New York Times, and actually read an article or watched something other than Fox news and saw a different perspective on things? Please do.

I work with someone who is a conspiracy theorist. He thinks the world is flat, that JFK and Michael Jackson are still alive, and the George Soros and other people are involved in a world wide conspiracy.  Also has vaccine hesitancy and goes on and on about the dangers of vaccine.  Then he got COVID, and starting wearing a mask.  Sometimes I feel I am trying to talk to a stubborn child who won't listen to reason.  Ever felt this way?

I think the quote, "A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still." pretty much sums it up.  It's not worth wasting my breath.  but it is hard sometimes being the only democrat in the room with people complaining about the vaccine and mandates.  So, right before the Christmas break I took off a day early to see my my mother out of state, and found out when I came back that everyone who went to the Christmas party developed COVID. Now I wouldn't wish sickness on anyone. I know how bad it can get, but I would say to listen to science and that other opinions can save you a lot of grief. The vaccine won't prevent you from getting the virus, but who knows you may not end up being hospitalized as as result.

3) Bad driving etiquette People speeding way above the limit, and then flashing their brights when I am driving at the limit ex. 65 MPH.  This isn't the Autobahn. Also those who weave in and out of traffic and put us at risk.  The other day I was driving on the Long Island Expressway service road, and I actually someone driving with their child (A toddler) behind the wheel of the car on their lap.  I told a speaker who came to my classroom from the DOT about what I saw and he was amazed, but not shocked. I mean I have seen people driving with their pets and laugh a bit but an unrestrained toddler.  That is just crazy and so very dangerous.

I am also bothered by people who park or change lanes without signaling. People who drive without lights (maybe the don't know) they are. Drivers who tailgate you, especially trucks, and people who double park or park on the curb.  My neighbor or one of his friends always parks across from our driveway. So if I back up without turning my car face forward I will back up into them.  What's a cautious driver to do. My mother often repeats my father's driving adage,  "A cautious driver is the best driver."  and I happen to agree.

4) Men  walking around outside without a shirt on.  I know it's hot there especially with global warming, but why does it seem that every day I drive down the street and I feel like I am in episode of the TV show COPS. I constantly see grown men walking without a shirt on.  Were they just running? I don't know. I mean I was at the beach earlier today and I saw an old man with a pot belly and a goatee and he was shirtless. OK that makes sense on the beach or even the boardwalk, but if you aren't running what's going on? For some reason it seems particularly strange when I see a senior shirtless.  I don't know. Does anyone think this is unusual behavior?

5) The mystery of the missing toilet seat.  Why do many toilets in restaurants and bars in America lack a toilet seat cover?

When I was in Cuba I was a bit surprised that many places did not have any toilet seat at all. With the exception some more upscale hotels. The thing is it's not the worst thing I've seen. In Uzbekistan I saw a toilet in a person's home that was really just a vat for their poop.  That's all they have. No indoor plumbing.  But here in America? why can't we have toilet seat covers. I've heard it that when you flush a toilet the germs from that toilet spray in the air and spread disease.  Why not spring for some more covers? Only one place yesterday a French bakery had toilet covers. Vive la France!

Oh, and in Mexico because their plumping is faulty and they want people to throw away their toilet paper in a basket instead of a toilet. I believe that is why in some places in the USA they have a waste basket in the bathroom by the toilet. but I could be wrong. I don't know. Does anyone know?  How's the plumbing where you live?

Feel free to comment.

Hocus SCOTUS, No abortion for you!

The baby moved again

As I watched the TV drama unfold

SCOTUS debated her fate

And she’s only 3 months old

We know what women need

We know their babies too

They need a strong father

They need to know the truth

Don’t worry, we know what’s best

Forget 1973, The past is the past

Say goodbye to choice,

And we will do the rest

What about the hangers?

What about women’s pain?

It’s all about the votes

It’s all about the gain

Brett, we know what you did despite the result

We know about your cowardice

We know you’re an unethical dope

Don’t do it

You’ve heard that before

But now women are pleading

As their wombs are getting sore

Sometimes change is not what we need

Sometimes the ship should stay the course

Voices should be heard

Voices should be seen

It's not about the party

It’s not about the womb

It’s about the freedoms

And sadly, women’s choices

May end forever soon

Vote Kamala!

Story 205: OMG My underwear looks like a Roschach test in technicolor

 

That's my litmus test when I know things are off. When my underwear looks otherworldly.   Things don't just happen overnight, though; there is always a reason.  It all started last Wednesday.

I have taught high school health education for the past 25 years and I have to say I generally enjoy my day, and last Wednesday was no exception. I was going over the student's anonymous sex education questions and I tried to be informative but also kept it light and told a few jokes. I wonder if I was talking too much that day? 

 Actually come to think I ate like a man having his last meal too.  One of my co-workers won a national championship in lacrosse and he treated us all to caveman-sized sandwiches.  My friend Pete also provided enough cake and pastries to warrant an insulin shot.

As I think about this maybe it was a food-borne illness? I really don't know. What I do know is that I started to feel fatigued that afternoon. A lot more than usual.  I frequently feel exhausted walking home from work.  Could be dehydration too. could be COVID weight. Who the hell knows.

So I took off work the next day.  Wednesday night I felt like I was drowning in saliva and that I might choke. Fortunately that didn't happen. It probably was post nasal drip I think.

Part 1: The visit to the clinic

The next day after I dropped my mother off at the senior center, I went to the local walk in clinic.  Now generally the walk in medial centers are very helpful.  I smartly booked my appointment online the night before and also went to appointment a 1/2 hour early and I think they took me a bit early.

Everyone who worked there was very nice.  I got my COVID test which turned out negative but the doctor said it could be too early to tell so I should recheck another day.

The thing is he evaluated me and said he thinks I have seasonal allergies despite the fact that I am not allergic to anything except dust, tobacco smoke, and cockroaches.  Basically I can't spent any time in Vegas or in very unkept homes without sneezing my guts out.

I told him I don't have allergies but I guess he didn't believe me and gave me Zirtec and a medication that helps with coughs. I told him I cant swallow large pills so he suggested I crush it up, but when I looked at the instructions at home it said firmly dont crush up or it could lead to an allergic reaction or inability to breathe. SHIT. These doctors should really read the instructions on the medication more often.  Fortunately my brother who is a doctor (although an OBGYN)  has a lot of other general knowledge  recommended Robitussin and advil and so far so good.  But I have to wonder why the standards vary so much from these walk in health clinics.  Who are these people?

PA's? Doctors just starting out? I don't know.  Some of them are great, but it seems quality varies tremendously so take their suggestions with a grain of salt and don't neglect a second opinion if you want one.

Part 2: CVS (More to come tomorrow after I rest up)

OK its the next day. And I'm feeling a bit better but still not perfect. I still have a little fever.  The fact is that it is 90+ degrees out in New York in May which is unusual may be a contributing factor. I don't know. 

So I went to CVS pharmacy a few times this week.  Considering how often I go there despite their high prices I really should own stock in the company.   I picked up the medication that the doctor prescribed ( I probably will discard it when they have the "Shed the meds" program at some point) also things like tissues, cough drops, zinc lozenges and I was also able to get a COVID home test for free with my insurance.

So I went home with my ridiculous long CVS receipt and went to work on the healing process.  While watch a Steven Seagal movie, I prepared the Binax COIVD test.  Of course I screwed it up.  I think it's a bit challenging even if you are in your right state of mind.  The funny thing I have take other COVID rapid tests before and had no problem doing them I don't know why this one I screwed up on.  The first part was I had to drop 6 drops in. The truth is don't if did it exactly right or not. Then I put the cue tip in the wrong hole (wouldn't be the first time) Then closed the test and waited 15 minutes.  It looked like a mess.  Fortunately I have 3 more chances to test myself.

Here is a question. Why are instructions on bottles so small? I mean I know there is a lot of information to include, and maybe my vision is getting a bit weaker (too many birthdays) but I couldn't see the dosage required on advil. I took one and it seemed to lessen my fever and I hope I will be well by tomorrow. I am going to rest a bit more and then try to go to a different walk in clinic in a little while. More to come.

Story 203: How a book about adultery changed my life

I never imagined that a book about adultery could change my life,

but one did.

It was the 1980's  and I was a student in Mrs. Rieff's 11th grade English class on Long Island. Mrs. Rieff had a reputation as a very tough teacher.  I really should have called her Mrs. grief because she was so difficult. Not only that but she was very pale and rarely smiled. Basically your worst nightmare.

I remember one incident when my friend Jeff who was in my class as well.   Mrs. Rieff returned a paper to him and said, "Mr. Stevens you really should write bigger."

He replied, "Mrs. Rieff maybe you've been teaching so long you're eyes are beginning to fail you."  She didn't miss a beat and answered,

"Maybe I should fail you." After that he just fell silent.  

For some reason Mrs. Rieff liked me.  I don't know why, but maybe it had something to do with the time I wore a blue long-sleeved Metropolitan Opera t-shirt to class. I didn't know it at the time but she was a big opera buff.

Mrs. Rieff said to me,"Mr. Levine that shirt really makes a statement."

I thanked her, but I really didn't know what she meant, and I don't even like opera I just got the shirt for free from my parents, but I decided to wear it a few more times just to curry favor with Mrs. Rieff, and maybe a better grade.

One day she assigned a very challenging homework.  We were to write a poem about the book The Scarlet Letter, and I had no idea what to do. I'm not even sure if I ever wrote a poem before.  Let alone one about adultery,

Back then, I worked as a page at my town library. It was a great job. One of the longest I had ever held for many years, and I had a lot of friends there.  The only downside was that it didn't pay a lot, My philosophy was they pay me minimum wage so I would do minimum work. Instead of shelving books I would spend a lot of time reading in the stacks.   

We also had lot of fun playing practical jokes on each other. We would do things like put someone's name on 10 book carts to shelve and then watch their reaction. 

One of my favorite things to do was to create books and then put them into the card catalog.  My friend Derek used the typewriter in the reference section to create a few.  I don't know if any of you are Star Trek fans (The original with William Shatner) one of my favorites. We wrote a book called "How to create an M-5 computer that not even Captain Kirk Can  Destroy."  I got a kick out of the fact that the book was in the card catalog for many years.  Sadly, the catalog was replaced by a digital version. A lot harder to hack, but at least I have the memories.

But this day I wasn't fooling around. Instead I was sitting in book room sorting books and thinking about the assignment.

I started to hum "Her name was Hester she wore a letter ." and then it hit me.   "That sounds like Barry Manilow's song Copacabana."  

I handed in my poem the next day entitled "A Day in the Life of Salem Mass." Next to it I added. (To be sung to the tune of "Copacabana")

I didn't think about it too much, but Mrs. Rieff spotted it immediately.

She said, "Mr. Levine, please come to the front of the room. I want you to read your poem."

"Oh no."  I thought to myself.

But that's exactly what I did.

Here's how it goes. I still remember it even it has been over thirty years.


Her name was Hester
She wore a letter
But that was 300 years ago in a place I didn't go.

His name was Dimsdale, he was a reverend.
and wore a letter too, but he wasn't very true.

And there was Pearl she was a girl, 
beautiful beyond a mother's dream or so it seemed.

Music, adultery and passion were never a fashion in
Salem, Mass.

I left out the part about "Don't fall in love.

After I finished the class burst into applause. I was very proud and pleasantly surprised that no one booed or heckled my poor singing voice.  I never imagined that one poem would one day spawn many more.

That first poem started it all. For the next 35 years, I would write when I felt inspired. I would write about a bad breakup or a good relationship, or something happened in the news, because those experiences all affected me emotionally.

As you can imagine, after 35 years, I had a large body of work, and I decided I wanted to publish it. The problem is, I had no idea how to do that either, so I began a journey to learn how. 

I  spent countless hours watching videos and reading books on self-publishing/editing, and after a year I published my first book.

I was very proud of that book despite the many spelling errors in the first edition.  I gave copies to all my family, friends, and co-workers.  and I am happy to say it is on the shelves in ten different libraries.

Including the Manhasset Library right next to Bill O'Reilly's in the local author section. Although my book is a lot less conservative.

Finally, after a few more weeks my first book is now in two branches at my hometown library.  I am very proud of that fact and tell others that I have gone from the guy who shelves the books to the person who writes the books.

The only thing that bothers me is that I never thanked Mrs. Rieff. She died a few years ago. Too often, we never take the time to let the important people in our lives know how much we appreciate them.

It occurred to me that you don't have to wear designer clothes or have a shirt with a special message to make an impression or be special, but rather you should wear your heart on your sleeve and let others know that they are special.

And I know in my next book I will acknowledge Mrs. Rieff for  choosing my poem and starting me on my journey to be a writer, and to all the people who help others and Mrs. Rieff I would like to say "Thank you." and I mean that from the heart.

 

Post 202: My first mentor

People often say that being a Mama's boy is a bad thing, but the truth is it has made me the man I am today.

My mother has taught me many things over the years but first and foremost is to know where you come from, and to appreciate what you have.

N grew up in the Bronx or "Da Bronx" as she calls it during The Depression.  Back then, very few people were working, no one had a lot of money, and there often wasn't enough food.

On more than one occasion my grandmother would ask my mother  to borrow money from a neighbor for food, or go the local store to buy two or three eggs something that embarrassed her, but people did what it took to get by.

My mother's diet growing up was also very limited. During elementary school she would come home for lunch and have spinach and potatoes, or potatoes and spinach and on a good day there would be an egg.  Boring, but healthy and on the bright side she never had a cavity until she went to college

 She however was not a vegan it's just that like many parts of the world meat is expensive and not always available. She did come home one day however to find a fish swimming in the bathtub.  My grandmother was very old school, liked things fresh, and was going to use it to make gefilte fish. 

My mother also loves chicken soup, but it back then wasn't so easy to get. My mother and my grandmother would pluck feathers from chickens on the stoop of their apartment for chicken soup because it was a less expensive. It was also an opportunity to learn her mother's recipe.  Something she is excellent at making and fortunately taught me to make too.  Although the first time I tried on my own I ended up putting a whole frozen chicken in the soup and that didn't turn out correctly because the chicken wouldn't defrost. Now I know better.

To this day whenever we have a meal out she also always wants the food be healthy, authentic, and "A good value " and I have to say that is something I want too.  Especially as a health teacher I generally try to practice what she preaches.  

Speaking of birds, one time during elementary school she went with my grandmother who was chaperoning to the Bronx Zoo.  My mother's teacher loved animals but when my grandmother spotted some exotic birds she  asked, "Are they good for roasting?" That comment mortified my mother and the teacher. After that my grandmother wasn't asked back on any school trips despite lack of parents to supervise.

My mother and her older sister lived with her parents on the ground floor of a five floor walk-up apartment building.  My mother didn't like it because she wanted to live on a higher floor so she could interact with the other children from the building.  The apartment was on the ground floor so my grandfather who was a chiropractor  could see his patients more easily.  There were constant fights about money because my grandfather would treat patients even if they didn't have the money to pay.  Pay me next week he would say, but usually that meant never.

My mother has instilled in me the importance of having a spiritual connection. She  grew up in an orthodox Jewish home but because she is a woman was never  taught Hebrew only Yiddish.  However she never let that stop her from attending services or having a bat mitzvah in her seventies.  That experience taught me that whatever we want to do in life it's never too late to start.

She also makes it a point to have Friday night dinners with wine, challah bread, candles, and of course soup, and goes to temple on most Saturdays. For her going to temple on a regular basis is more than about just praying but also making a connection with the people in the community, and research shows that going to a house of worship on a weekly basis can add years to your life because when we feel good emotionally when tend to feel good physically.

For my mother temple is more than just prayer it is also a support network. My mother has developed friendships over the past forty years, and the temple community has been there for many important life cycle events including: Births, bar/bat mitzvahs, and also deaths.

My mother actually likes to go to funerals not only to support to families who are grieving and to honor the person who has passed but also because the service itself is like coming to a story telling class because you hear the best about someone's life. 

 The Shivah (The week of mourning) is important too because as my mother tells it the shivah is for the living and an opportunity to help people in their time of need, and lets face it when we help others feel better the end result is that we often feel good too.  Mitzvahs they are called also known as good deeds. When two of my friends parents died my mother asked to go too, and this surprised my friends but she was able to relate to their parents in a way I never could.

My mother and father have also always stressed the importance of a good education and helping others.  She was a teacher for the NYC public schools for many years, but when she retired she never stopped growing.  It's been said that "When you retire you expire." but my mother didn't want that and instead taught adults English (ESL) in our town for ten years. 

In Okinawa Japan they don't even have a word for retired instead they talk about having an ikigai, or in Spanish a plan de vida,  basically a purpose or reason to get up in the morning, and I truly believe feeling a sense of importance and appreciation can improve our health, and that is how she feels when her students call her "Mama" or "My teacher."

The funny thing is that when we go out to dinner in town she seems to know every busboy/waiter because many of them were her former students which has its advantages because that often leads to better service.  If they weren't her student she is very skilled at talking to people and learning about them. 

Typical questions are Do you speak a little Spanish?(Someone who is obviously Latino) Where are you from?, etc.  Have you heard about the ESL program in town it's only $50 for the year.

She does this because she loves people and has stressed that many times we don't take the time to learn about the everyday people we interact with.

My mother also once said that the best way to get to  know someone is to give them a compliment. She does this do make a connection. For example we could be at the park and she might see someone and  say, "What kind of dog is that? or What a beautiful baby."  She really means it too, but for her she is very disarming and she enjoys meeting others.

Holiday meals with her family are some of her favorite times too whether it Thanksgiving, or Jewish holidays such as Rosh Hashanah or Passover it is a good excuse to see family eat delicious food, and enjoy plenty of laughter.  

In keeping with this theme I remember one time we were reading the Passover Haggadah the book that relates the Jew's exodus from Egypt and flight from slavery. We were going around the table doing responsive reading when my mother instead of saying "The Egyptians made the Jews suffer." She said "The Egyptians made them supper."

"Mom, you meant suffer right?"

She laughed along with us, and said "Maybe they should have made them supper too." 

I happen to agree and I feel that maybe had the ancient Egyptians sat down with the Jews they would have learned about each other and found out that really have a lot in common, and had my mother been there I know she would have won them over too.

Post 201: Things I wish I could Unsee but Can't

Yesterday I went to a junior varsity basketball game in Canarsie Brooklyn (New York) To watch my friend coach against a team from Staten Island. The game was very close and my friend's team ended up losing by two points at the buzzer. Personally I think there was some bad reffing by the officials which contributed to the loss. The fans at Wanger High School were very disrespectful too. Who runs onto a court after a basketball game? I was concerned for the players safety. There was barely any security either.

Coming back to my house I went to an outstanding Pizza restaurant. Now, normally the place is great. I had two slices a plain (terrific) and a Sicilian slice (just ok) the problem is when I went to leave the restaurant I had to use the bathroom and there was only one stall available.  I used the toilet and then went to use the sink to wash my hands.  I got the shock of my life because I saw a huge amount of hair in the sink, but not just any hair but black pubic hair I believe.  I want to think it was beard hair (I hope) but either way why was the sink completely filled with it? and who uses a public bathroom to trim their pubic hair? Gross.

 The delicious slice in my stomach turned green.  Fortunately, I didn't have to vomit...I informed a waiter about the sink and left disgusted.  Not the way I wanted to leave after sitting for so long at the basketball game.  but it made me wonder what other shocking images have I seen? Or have my friends...I mean, it's not as extreme as what soldiers see during wars, but nevertheless, it can scar us to some degree. It's like visual food poisoning.

I just read in the New York Times how a kidnapper was released after serving forty years in prison for kidnapping and burying alive many elementary aged students. Those children who are now adults still have anxiety and nightmares. and rightly so.  Maybe the kidnappers should have experienced the same thing to see what it was like.  I don't know.  Maybe two wrongs don't make a right.

How about the time I saw one homeless guy in NYC without pants reading the paper in  station like he was commuter.  My brother and I even saw a homeless many defecating on the sidewalk as we were walking down Queens Blvd. I guess if you have to go you have to go, but why couldn't he hit up a McDonalds?

Other things that can scar you are things in restaurants like a mouse running under your table, a hair in you food, a cockroach running around.  Everyone in the place seems happy and is laughing and you are the only one appalled.

I was in a Chinese restaurant in NYC and a mouse ran under my table when I informed a waiter he asked, "Where did it go?"

"How should I know? I'm not  zookeeper." I told him as I left. What are they going to do rehabilitate him?

Also the smell of vomit even if it's your own. I was in New Orleans and mistakenly ate white clam pizza.  I got violently sick and vomited right next to my hotel room. Sometimes it's true when you have to go you go....

Travel can be shocking too like the time I willing ate horsemeat (terrible) in Uzbekistan or hoofs of animals for sale...I hate it in Chinese supermarket seeing many animals in very small tanks. Seems cruel too.

That's all I have for now.  No life lesson for the moment.  Please leave a comment if you have any other moments you can't forget. Have a good day and I hope it's memorable for other reasons.

Post 200: My favorite restaurant

I was thinking about what is my favorite restaurant.  I have a few that I like.  The one I like best oddly is my town diner.  It has been around for over fifty years, and for good reason.

I enjoy eating there and find it very relaxing. In particular I appreciate the fact that they know my name and the owner's daughter asks also me how my mother is. I think that in itself is a reason to go back. 

Also, the manager who is Latino always ask me how I am in Spanish and we seem to know every waiter and bus boy.  It  helps that my mother used to teach ESL in town and many of the local help were her students. I think we get preferential treatment as a result. My mother likes it too and often uses the Yiddish term "Haimish" to describe it. loosely translated it means family.  Another plus is that you can park nearby and for my mother who is handicapped that helps. The diner is also a short walk from a small park and over the summer when they have concerts you can eat dinner and then walk over to see the show.

The food at the diner is very fresh and is consistently good too.  Someone once said that if there are large chunks of vegetables in the soup then it's probably homemade. It irks me when I drove by a local pizza parlor who claimed that their soups are homemade and then I saw large containers of Progresso soup in front of the place.  You feel so ripped off.  My friend at work informed me that if the restaurant changes even one ingredient it's still considered homemade. What a joke. 

Speaking of soup. If you know anything about me is that I am bit of soup snob.  I consider myself having high standards. If my brother gives me soup for dinner he will give me a little more than a spoonful. Then he will expectantly wait for my reaction. More often than not I will give a dissatisfied no and he will shake his head, because he knows I'm a bit picky. 

The funny thing is I always like the diner's soup it's consistently good. Especially their matzah ball soup which always tastes  of dill. Although I think they are cutting back because there used to be a lot more chicken.  What I like I about it is that it reminds me of the chicken soup my mother used to make.  She would say she was "cooking with love" and that is how I think food should be.

When I take out food or eat there I generally order the same thing. Spinach pie and a Greek Salad. It comes with soup (Which I like) and iced coffee.  It's not every day I eat a salad so feel like I am eating healthy and the busboys are constantly refilling our coffee cups, and almost always you never have to ask for a refill.  When I am having lunch there it always feels like I am on vacation and when I really do take a day off from work and have lunch there or take out it always relaxes me.

If we go there for dinner which happens on occasion, we usually salmon and sweet potato, and I always leave room for dessert. In particular I like their rice pudding which according to the owner's daughter is her grandmother's recipe.  Imagine a sundae glass filled with creamy white pudding and a large amount of whipped cream. You really have to split it, and why wouldn't you because it tastes so good.

One downside of a successful diner is that they get very busy and noisy. Fortunately because of of COVID they added a lot more outdoor dining. So you get some sun, fresh air, and good food.  Although it does get a bit noisy too from some of the car traffic. For me it's worth it.

Last week I went to the diner to take out my usual Greek fare, and the owner asked me if I wanted to join the rewards program which I did and then informed me that they have to raise prices for credit card transactions which they never did before, which makes sense because of supply chain issues and inflation, but in my book it's worth it because as they say in the credit card commercials when you have a great experience like lunch at my local diner, it's truly priceless.

Photo by shawnanggg on Unsplash

Post 199: My first computer

 

It was 1981 and I was a freshman in high school.  More than anything I wanted a computer. Not just any computer but an Apple 2+. Nowadays it seems like everyone has a smartphone and/or a laptop/desktop, but back then having your own computer was less common especially if you were my age.

The problem was that the computer I was interested in cost $1000 which was a lot of money today and even more so back then especially for someone 14 years old. What did you get for $1000? Not much by today's standards.  It only bought you a computer. No monitor, no printer, no modem, not even a hard drive.  It only came with a disc drive.  A light on the disc drive  turned red and whirred when you put the floppy disc (software) inside to load.

One cool feature though was that you could hook the computer up to with an r/f modulator up to any television.  Fortunately we had an extra 27 inch color TV and I was able to play games and communicate on a large screen. That would probably be a good feature today, but I have a feeling the companies want to make extra money, or maybe are just being efficient.

One other fond memory I have is that my childhood friend Bruce, who now runs a tool company, helped me install and negotiate my first modem.  I remember the sound the computer used to make when connecting to a billboard. It was like the early AOL/fax machine connections.  The problem was that at first the modem didn't work. Back then you could open up the computer and install the parts. Not so easy today.  My friend Bruce called up the local computer store owner to complain that the modem wasn't working. The conversation went something like this.

"Mr. Yoon, the modem isn't working"

Mr. Yoon would reply, "It is working."

"No, Yoon, it's broken." Bruce replied adamantly.

This went back and forth until finally Mr. Yoon relented and replaced the modem.  Whatever happened to the customer always being right?  To this day when things go wrong in life we refer to it as "Modem dead."

There were also some issues too with certain websites.  Back in the early 80's It was like the wild wild west.  There were no censors or software to protect children and some people we encountered probably were predators. Fortunately though nothing bad happened.

There were many also happy memories. I remember fondly being in a computer store in White Plains, New York playing a text adventure game called Zork.  What I liked about that game was that you could problem solve and have an escape for several hours. It not like computers today with all the graphics you had to use your imagination.  Over time new games came out.  My friends and I used to joke when a dirty text adventure was released that we all had to play.

One of favorite games was Castle Wolfenstein.  It was a program that the user got to kill Nazi's.  It was a fun game, but every once in a while I got scared because you would hear German words from one of the people in the game.  

Over the years the computer games have become more and more advanced and the graphics more realistic, and I'm not even talking about using VR goggles. I can only imagine what that's like. A true another world.

Many years later, when I was living in my own apartment, my mother called to inform me that there was a flood in the basement and my computer was  damaged.  She told me that she threw it out. I was very upset, because of all the fond memories the computer had given me and it was also my first introduction to computers.   In addition, I found out that a working apple computer was worth several thousand dollars if I was so inclined to sell it. What a loss.

Fortunately I still have all the software in my closet and most importantly the memories I have using that computer.  It was my first computer, and like many things in life. You always remember your first.

 

Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash

Post 150: On our way

 

On Our Way

We’re on our way,

To make the peace,

To right the wrong,

To set people free.

We’ve sent the troops,

We’ve packed their bags,

We gave them kisses,

And well wishes,

And saluted the flag.

We had a last meal of cereal, and lost moments,

Holding hands our thoughts like chains unbroken,

The time seemed so holy.

I checked my uniform for dust and wrinkles,

I checked my cap for starch and crinkles.

I hugged my wife, and kissed my child,

I said goodbye,

Hopefully for a very short while.

The plane departed,

The men were glum,

A patriotic song began,

But no one sung.

Outside the window the landscape disappeared,

And later the endless water was all I could see.

Then we touched down on the hundred-degree ground,

But my thoughts were in America, so far away right now.

The mission is peace in the Middle East,

The goal is something I know is very hard,

But I am an American soldier, 

Proud of my country, my flag, and my God.

Art from the Heart · Poem 7: On our way

Post 142: Assumptions (Or why you shouldn't wear a hoodie to the bank)

I feel like this could be a question someone might might ask in a Podcast. 

I mean how many times has this happened to you or someone you know?  I'm not sure if it a micro aggression, flattery, or downright prejudice.  For example, today I needed to get to my accountant in Queens, and I had to get some quarters for the meter. However, my usual bank and the bank across the street either were operating too slow, or "Just out of them" So, I went to a bank I had never been to before in my blue hoodie and sweatpants. Bad idea.

I don't think I looked terrible. I shaved this morning and my mask was clean. I know they say that clothes make the man, but do certain outfits lead to questions? Or even assumptions?

I spoke to a teller at the third bank and mentioned that it was hard to get quarters because there was a coin shortage.

The woman looked at me and said, "We don't usually give out change to people who aren't customers."

I looked back at her and replied with indignation, "How do you know that I'm not a customer? Or a potential customer?

She looked at me, nodded, and then said that I was right.

I thanked her and left, but part of me fantasized about showing how wealthy I am (not in real life) and saying I won't be a client of her bank. (As if I had a lot of money) Was it chutzpah on her part, prejudice, or microaggression. I really don't know. Maybe I'm imagining things. At least I got my quarters, but it got me thinking if others have experienced the same thing.

After my time at the bank and accountant I went next door for some Polish food. Now, I have some Polish and Russian ancestry however I don't speak very much of either language, but inevitably before I buy anything the woman behind the counter always greets me in Polish. I think she assumes that I could be Polish. At least she was friendly to me.

Based on how I look I guess I could be.  This experience doesn't bother me that much and I find it somewhat funny. It's also happened to my friends before. My friends Dave and Nathan and Mike were perceived to be Greek and spoken to in the language as well.

Getting back to clothes. I've heard that airlines and restaurants sometimes treat people who are wearing suits differently than people dressed in regular clothes. Maybe there is an assumption that the person is successful, or even a better tipper. Even my friend Steve said that when he went to a bar in upstate New York women gave him a lot more attention because the town he went to was in an economic depression and he was seen as "A good catch."

Someone once told me also that violinists and other musicians are sometimes  tested while playing behind screens, because management doesn't want to judge them by looks alone, but rather by talent, or how baseball scouts thought that some players were better if their bodies were more typical of some stereotypical body of perfection in their eyes. Something out of Plato's golden ratio, I suppose.

I've also heard that you should smile (If you can) in drivers license photos because you are less likely to get a ticket if the officer thinks you are a nice person...and that people who wear glasses at job interviews are perceived as smarter. These seem to be helpful assumptions but really they speak to the same problem, not just the halo principal.

What disturbs me is how quickly one incorrect perception without all the information could be incorrect and sometimes even deadly.

I think it was Steven Covey who said, "First seek to understand and then to be understood."

For example, I remember one time I was at a gas station on Long Island and someone started to honk me as I was preparing to drive off. I got angry at the honking thinking the person was trying to hurry/harass me but when I rolled down my window the other driver replied, "Your gas cap is off." Here it was I was ready to start a beef with him when he was really just trying to help. 

In the end, I feel we shouldn't make judgements about others unless we truly learn more about the person, because underneath all the clothes (Even hoodies and sweats) we are all the same. Human. I just wish everyone including banks felt the same.  Maybe the next time I fly or go back to the bank in a suit to see what they will say. Who knows, there might even be change. Literally.

 

Thanks to Usman Yousaf for allowing us to use the photo you took photo for the blog from Unsplash

Post 198: Is it worth the wait?

 I once heard that we spend several years of our lives waiting in line, and I wonder if it truly worth it.  Think about how many times we wait for things: We wait at the post office, the doctors office, the bank, car repair, and department of motor vehicles for our turn. We wait for the results of the SAT's, to get a COVID vaccine, health test results, news of an expectant mother, someone's health at the hospital. We wait for a store to open, a check to clear, our IRS refund, and almost always the train or bus to arrive.

Yesterday was tax day for me. I went to the bank and to my accountant.  I went when the bank first opened and some people were griping that there was only one person handling the growing line. The truth is we have minor inconveniences and some people around the world and in our country are facing life or death such as war and starvation.

After my wait at the bank, I went to Queens to visit my accountant. He is a great guy but had an accident last year so I was unable to see him then, but he still did my return.    This time I had to wait an hour and a half before he was available.  But I suppose the statement "Good things come to those who wait."  because I ended up getting some money back and was also able to do my mother's return.

We often wait for pleasant things too: To see a movie, a concert, a Broadway show, our favorite restaurant. A package to arrive, a date who is getting ready, etc.

Sometimes things are worth the wait, other times the wait seems too long, but remember we can make the unpleasant experience more pleasant.  Think about Tom Sawyer who turned white washing of a fence into an opportunity for some fun. Next time you are waiting you could be reading a book, a magazine, or watching a video you like.  I remember years ago I was waiting at the Flushing Town hall for free Shakespeare tickets in Central Park.

Usually I would get their at 6 or 7 am to wait bring chairs because they don't give out tickets till 1 pm.  The deal was I would get their early with chairs and my brother who likes to sleep late who arrive around 10ish with breakfast.  Someone asked me what time I got there and when I said six he replied that I was "Hardcore."  I viewed waiting in line as fun.  I could read the play or most of it, talk to people, and you never know what could happen.  I remember a strange man came up to me once and asked,

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

I paused and then replied without missing a beat, "Practice, practice, practice."

 I figured when was the next time I was going to be able to say that joke.  The man seemed irate and stormed off.  Fortunately nothing happened to me.  I got the tickets a few hours later that night saw a wonderful show.  I have seen several. The point is that if I never waited I would never have been able to see so much great theater for free.

Life Lesson 197: I've heard it been said that a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; while the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.  It is my hope that the next time you are waiting in line rather than see it as a challenge or burden to bare that you see it as time to make the most of things.  Let's face it our time is precious use it wisely, keep a positive attitude, and most importantly don't forget to bring your book.

Post 181: Hey Governor Desantis, Fauci you!

Its interesting six months ago I was pleased that Florida's Governor Ron DeSantis despite being a bully and Trump loyalist, did such a great job inoculating senior citizens against COVID, and my 88 year old mother was able to get a shot quite quickly.

Now however Florida, like many places in the world, is being overrun by the Delta variant.  Hospital emergency wards are at capacity even children's hospitals and DeSantis is still so defiant to address this grave problem (no pun intended)

He has tried to pass laws to prevent mask mandates even as the daily COVID rate is at its highest level yet, and hospital emergency wards are at capacity. Even children's hospitals. He has sued the CDC to prevent it having cruise ships  require passengers to show they are immunized, and is totally against COVID vaccination passports. Worst of all, he mocked Dr. Anthony Fauci on his own official website.  Something along the lines of "Don't Fauci Florida." Which to me is very short sighted.

Instead of mocking Dr. Fauci and getting his advice to help the people of Florida, he is putting roadblocks as President Biden suggested and people are ending up being hospitalized and dying as a result.

Governor DeSantis don't let your political aspirations become more important than respirations.  Your people are dying of lack of oxygen.  And while masks can make it harder to talk or hear what people are saying a little difficulty breathing pales in comparison to a complete loss of breath.

So, in conclusion, remember that a good leader truly listens to his people, different points of view, and most importantly science.  Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can.  Now is the time to act.  You don't need to be in the middle of a hurricane to know that one is coming.  Act now! 

The people of America are waiting and watching.

Post 197: Sometimes Its Better to Just Stay in Bed

 It's 12:30 in the morning and I'm wondering if I have food poisoning or just nauseous from my last meal.  Considering my day today I wouldn't be surprised.

I woke up early yesterday morning and went downstairs to the basement to do some laundry. I noticed my brother had neglected to put the laundry in the dryer, but the bigger issue was the two sinks adjacent to the washing machine were filled with brown water and possibly sewage.

What am I going to do?  Because it was Saturday, plumber availability was limited, and since this was more of a sewage issue, I needed to call a sewer repair person. Fortunately the local plumber referred me to someone who worked on Long Island and he came relatively quickly to resolve the issue.

I ended up paying over a hundred dollars to fix the problem. Considering how dirty the job and how smelly, it was probably money well spent, but in retrospect I probably should have gotten a price quote first and also asked him to clean up afterwards because there was sewage everywhere including the walls.  

I told my brother that the man had found wipes in the line, and while my brother denied causing it at first it he came around to admit that he may have used wipes to clean the toilet and then flushed them (FYI neither one really breaks down in the sewage line)

Basically I was angry all morning. After resolving my first crisis and grading a lot of papers I went out to do some food shopping.

My brother recently got into a car accident on Northern Blvd.  .  Fortunately, he wasn't hurt, and neither was the other driver who was driving an Escalade, but his car was totaled.

I finally got out of the house (At least temporarily) to do some food shopping. My sister S.  gave me good advice to try to relax.  Because it was a beautiful day and 50+ degrees she suggested I go to the park and do some reading and some walking. I probably should  have done just that.  It's important to notice if we are experiencing/have experienced stress do something to make yourself feel better before facing other challenges.  

Instead I decided I wanted to drown my sorrows with Shake Shack. In the past, when my father had a bad date he would do the same with White Castle.  I thought  Shack would make me feel better but I I overlooked the stressful trip to get there.

I know many of you do not live in America, but we have an excellent Mall.  The problem is that because it was beautiful Saturday the parking lot that I wanted to go to near the mall was packed.  Basically I had to drive backroads to get there and I was lucky to get a parking space.  I ordered several items in advance and thought that the food would destress me. Wrong. I guess my body is not used to food with so much fat.  

It's times like this when you just wonder if were better if I you stayed in bed, but also it makes me think that trying to overcome obstacles by yourself is a bit isolating and challenging.  I was able to overcome the first one today and later I will call AAA to see if they can start the Honda.  I hope that cure is less expensive.

One thing that did make me feel a bit better was that I thought to myself the following statement. "What went right today?...." instead of what went wrong.  It occurred to me that there were some good things.

1) I was able to resolve the sewage issue relatively quickly and I know had my mother been there I would never hear the end of it.

2) I was able to grade all my papers for work.  More than I probably would have this weekend.

3) I was able to pick up food from the supermarket.

4) I read a book that interested me.

5) I did it all by myself. No safety net.

Life Lesson 197: People sometimes say that money is the root of all evil. The more accurate statement is "The love of money is the root of all equal" fortunately I don't have the latter.

What I can say is that we will all face difficulties, but how we look at life's challenges is important.

The next time you face a difficult day ask yourself, "How can I resolve this?" and "What went right today?"

Also, try to be more like the Japanese who in business rather than assign blame. Ask how can we resolve this issue? It feels good to hold people accountable but does that create ill will in the future. I don't know.

I would add to not try to drown your sorrows in alcohol or food or anything else for that matter, because in the long run that is really just a crutch. It's healthier to just say "Shit happens. What now? and how can I turn these lemons into lemonade."