Post 197: Sometimes Its Better to Just Stay in Bed

 It's 12:30 in the morning and I'm wondering if I have food poisoning or just nauseous from my last meal.  Considering my day today I wouldn't be surprised.

I woke up early yesterday morning and went downstairs to the basement to do some laundry. I noticed my brother had neglected to put the laundry in the dryer, but the bigger issue was the two sinks adjacent to the washing machine were filled with brown water and possibly sewage.

What am I going to do?  Because it was Saturday, plumber availability was limited, and since this was more of a sewage issue, I needed to call a sewer repair person. Fortunately the local plumber referred me to someone who worked on Long Island and he came relatively quickly to resolve the issue.

I ended up paying over a hundred dollars to fix the problem. Considering how dirty the job and how smelly, it was probably money well spent, but in retrospect I probably should have gotten a price quote first and also asked him to clean up afterwards because there was sewage everywhere including the walls.  

I told my brother that the man had found wipes in the line, and while my brother denied causing it at first it he came around to admit that he may have used wipes to clean the toilet and then flushed them (FYI neither one really breaks down in the sewage line)

Basically I was angry all morning. After resolving my first crisis and grading a lot of papers I went out to do some food shopping.

My brother recently got into a car accident on Northern Blvd.  .  Fortunately, he wasn't hurt, and neither was the other driver who was driving an Escalade, but his car was totaled.

I finally got out of the house (At least temporarily) to do some food shopping. My sister S.  gave me good advice to try to relax.  Because it was a beautiful day and 50+ degrees she suggested I go to the park and do some reading and some walking. I probably should  have done just that.  It's important to notice if we are experiencing/have experienced stress do something to make yourself feel better before facing other challenges.  

Instead I decided I wanted to drown my sorrows with Shake Shack. In the past, when my father had a bad date he would do the same with White Castle.  I thought  Shack would make me feel better but I I overlooked the stressful trip to get there.

I know many of you do not live in America, but we have an excellent Mall.  The problem is that because it was beautiful Saturday the parking lot that I wanted to go to near the mall was packed.  Basically I had to drive backroads to get there and I was lucky to get a parking space.  I ordered several items in advance and thought that the food would destress me. Wrong. I guess my body is not used to food with so much fat.  

It's times like this when you just wonder if were better if I you stayed in bed, but also it makes me think that trying to overcome obstacles by yourself is a bit isolating and challenging.  I was able to overcome the first one today and later I will call AAA to see if they can start the Honda.  I hope that cure is less expensive.

One thing that did make me feel a bit better was that I thought to myself the following statement. "What went right today?...." instead of what went wrong.  It occurred to me that there were some good things.

1) I was able to resolve the sewage issue relatively quickly and I know had my mother been there I would never hear the end of it.

2) I was able to grade all my papers for work.  More than I probably would have this weekend.

3) I was able to pick up food from the supermarket.

4) I read a book that interested me.

5) I did it all by myself. No safety net.

Life Lesson 197: People sometimes say that money is the root of all evil. The more accurate statement is "The love of money is the root of all equal" fortunately I don't have the latter.

What I can say is that we will all face difficulties, but how we look at life's challenges is important.

The next time you face a difficult day ask yourself, "How can I resolve this?" and "What went right today?"

Also, try to be more like the Japanese who in business rather than assign blame. Ask how can we resolve this issue? It feels good to hold people accountable but does that create ill will in the future. I don't know.

I would add to not try to drown your sorrows in alcohol or food or anything else for that matter, because in the long run that is really just a crutch. It's healthier to just say "Shit happens. What now? and how can I turn these lemons into lemonade."

Story 64: How to wear many hats. Literally.

My friend Michael and I wore a lot of interesting hats in our travels.  Mazars in Afghanistan, Topis in Uzebekistan, and Kefiahs and Fez in Turkey.  We actually got into trouble in Turkey when we wore traditional two foot high dervish hats and spun around in a market.  We didn’t realize at the time that there was a religious aspect to them so we switched to wearing fez instead.

One day, we decided to wear Kefiahs in Cappadoccia, Turkey the ancient city famed for having built civilizations into the mountains.  The people of Capadoccia evaded the Romans for many years much like the Ancient Israelites at Masada.

While we were walking around the site, our guide related something he heard a young child say to his mother in Turkish.  To paraphrase,

“Look mommy, those men are from Saudi Arabia, I learned about them at school.”

When I told Mike what our friend and guide Emre had said, Michael literally fell on the floor and laughed.  For years we have imitated the  boy’s supposed high pitch voice in other situations.

Life Lesson 64: Sometimes we just want to fit in, other times we want to stand out, but don’t be afraid to be different, because being unique is a great quality.  In addition to the international hats I have acquired over the years, I also have the pictures,  and most importantly I have the fond memories of wearing them too.

Post 196: Forget Stop and Shop, its more like stop, drop, and run

 So, I went to Stop and Shop earlier today after picking up some takeout deli from Ben's on Long Island. We are expecting some bad weather tonight so I thought it would be a good idea to get some prepared food and and few more grocery items. It turned out to be a mistake.

The first red flag was that the carts in the front of the store were locked together.  I know its probably to prevent them from blowing away in the wind, but I didn't feel like getting a cart from the parking lot so picked up a basket to shop a bit, and also a little workout carrying things.

My main objective was organic bananas anything other than that was a bonus.  I think in general that is how I usually shop. Rarely with a list I just shop and see what happens. Probably a bad idea.  I also forgot shopping bags.  In some stores in New York they charge you for paper bags. I really should try to remember to bring them, or leave them in the trunk.   Today I had "bag envy"

After walking down the produce aisle I got ready to check out, but unfortunately there was no express, and every cart I saw was at capacity.  I was a bit annoyed, and I dislike the self checkout so I just put everything back where I found it and turned to leave the store.

To be fair I didn't just leave the basket with the food in it because I thought it was bad form, but part of me felt like a bit of a quitter.

I suppose I have to keep things in perspective because even though food is important in the scheme of things our mental health and the time we have is equally so.

One other thing I want to mention is that when I was walking into Ben's earlier there was a man limping behind me so I held the door for him to get inside and after I held it someone else did the same. Courtesy and good deeds are contagious I suppose.

The man  with a limp said to anyone who would listen that he fell down a flight of stairs earlier in the day but wasn't going to let anything stop him from having his lunch. That really impressed me, but I don't know what he would have done if had to wait on a line in the grocery store with a full basket though. 

Life Lesson 196: They say that some things are worth the wait, but I would argue that a few organic items for a salad probably aren't, and for me that certainly is food for thought, literally.

 At least I got the knish.

Post 195: The Life Cycle

The clock is ticking

And soon I’ll be 55

And it got me thinking

Why am I alive?

Tragedy seems to be happening

Every single day

Or maybe I’m just focusing on the wrong things

I wish I could look away

You see one loss is something 

Something we can all usually stand

But when it hits us back to back overwhelming

So sad, and hard to understand

A moving car, a health battle lost

Can each do the same

Emotionally drain us

And drive us a bit insane

It’s times like this that we should stop and think

What else do I want to do?

What remains unwritten

What in the world I want to view?

What could I become?

If I had all the time

I can’t trap it in a bottle

I just want to complete the rhyme

Time also to pray

And time to appreciate what we have

Time to connect with family

And time to say what we need to say

My mother always said

That funerals were for the ones we lost

And shivas to help the living

But I suppose what we need most

Is more time, more love, and more forgiving

I’m not Shakespeare yet

And probably I never need be

But I can still seize the day

And remember to always be me.

Post 194: Loss

 

A Facebook post

A relative lost

Long forgotten phone calls

Cousins but never seen

 

Long Island

Staten Island

Homes by the water

Different lives

But family nevertheless

 

Different views

And temperament at times

But

Family

 

You went to Florida

And things weren’t always Rosy with mom

But there were also birthday dinners at Lugers for the boys

 

I’m sorry I never became your friend on Facebook

Or that you said don’t speak to me again to someone I love

But now that you are gone

I wish

How I wish you were still here

For our family to make amends

And maybe to have you over to celebrate a holiday

I promise not to talk politics

 

You raised three beautiful children

And I hope you are in heaven

If there is one, I think you belong there

With a Giants game on

 

Wait for us

It may be a while

But we hope someday to watch with you too

Rest in Peace Bryna

 

Post 193: I Remember

Art from the Heart · I remember

 

 

I Remember

I remember my neighbors next door

For their kindness and love

And so very much more

 

Sure, there were conflicts

Over the size of the fence

But you always offered to mend it

And always meant what you said

 

So many times, Richard would snowplow our drive

And I still can’t believe you both aren’t alive

 

Marilu and Richard, thank you for all the things that you did

You didn’t deserve to die

You should be home with your kids

 

I remember Marilu the diva, her flan and Spanish rice

I remember how happy you both were

Spending time with Michelle and Kyle

 

Marilu planting flowers

And her trips to Puerto Rico

And Richard talking the news of the time

And how they always treated each other as equals

 

Marilu would always tell my mother she loved her

And that Bruce and I were great sons and brothers

 

Richard and Marilu you will remain in our hearts

Even when the years go by and we are apart

 

RIP I still can’t believe you are gone.

I wish I could have told you one last time how much we appreciate you

Forget good fences make good neighbors

The truth is good memories are what we need most.

 

Post 192: In Search of Jewmas

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

Do you have a present for me?

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I’m Jewish, but I still have my needs

My mother says not to write

Because we’ve had eight days of gifts

My mother says not to write

But I’m feeling quite adrift

My neighbor has trees with colored lights

And a collection of presents to boot

We have a menorah, latkes, and dreidels to spin

But I wish I could have yours too

You see I know Hanukkah has its lessons and latkes are tasty food

But I sometimes pine for eggnog and presents

And some people can be Scrooges too.

So let me come over and share in your joy

Ill bring my dreidel and try out your toys

I won’t say prayers, but I’ll share in Christmas spirit

Maybe we’ll put a menorah on top of your tree

And we’ll be both in it to win it

We’ll combine our cultures whether we’re Christians, druids, or Jews

Ill finally be able to have it all

And Jewmas will be a holiday for us too.

Post 191: The End of Snow

 

 

Snow will end soon

Not to be morose

Snow will end soon

Everybody knows

 

Power up

Power up

China’s working 24/7

 

Power up

Power up

India’s in coal heaven

 

But remember the dinosaurs?

Now they’re coal too

Humans could be the future coal

And that’s the sad scary truth

 

People deny it is happening

They blame it on the cows

But if we don’t change our ways

It could be someday ours.

Post 189: Stop Running!

Stop running!

Stop running!

We just want to talk

Stop running!

Stop running!

We think it’s your fault

We saw you at the jobsite

We know what you did

You committed the crimes

You ran and you hid

We’ve got the proof

And the truck to arrest

We know the truth

And your hide we’ll get get

You ain’t no peach

But a plum to the core

Our true president knows

He knows the score

What hate? we’re just doing our jobs

The police are busy with your angry mobs

My son, my friend and I are jury and judge

Who needs the police when I have my truck and my gun?

Don’t move. don’t fight back!

Kyle said it’s self defense

And by God that’s going to be our tact.

Arrested? for what?

You committed the crime.

A trio of murder. Really?

We have to do the time?

Yes, because unlike you, 

We have impartial jurors and

Scales of justice that are blind.

R.I.P. Ahmaud Arbery

Post 188: Viva Las Vegas

 

Earlier this year I went with my friend Bart to Las Vegas.  It was my first time going and a very good time.

People always say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but since there wasn't anything salacious about the experience. I thought I would share a few things that happened.

First of all never pay full price if you can. Not that I am an expert, but from watching some youtube videos that suggest staying during the week because hotel rates are a lot lower....we didnt do that but I was able to use some rewards points to get two free nights.  Originally the plan was to listen to a timeshare spiel which I had paid for in advance, but the chain didn't have the weekend I wanted so we did this instead.

My friend had a wedding to attend in Arizona so I thought we could kill two birds with one stone.

Prior to the trip we stopped in at a few lounges at JFK.  Timing is everything they say.  The first lounge was called the Maharajah I believe with an Indian theme/cuisine, but because they were about to close we were only able to get a few grapes and some water.. The worker there was kind enough to get us some.  She did inform me however that another lounge called Wings was open in another part of the terminal so we went there quickly to see what we could obtain.

The lounge was great.  They had free hot and cold drinks and real food.. Chicken with rice and beans...We also loaded up on energy bars. In retrospect, I probably should have avoided the beans....Never a good idea to have spicy food prior to a plane flight, and lets not forget the flatulence too.

The flight was pretty uneventful only a small bit of turbulence, and Bart and I watched The Hangover at the same time. A great film to see before traveling to Vegas. I also got to watch A Quiet Place (loved it)

When we arrived in Vegas, I was amazed that they have slot machines in the airport and the amount of advertising reminded me of Times Square.

Bart's cousin is a travel agent so she got us a good deal on rental car from an agency I never heard of before...The employee was from New York and loved Bart's Met's hat. Bart is a diehard fan. It seems that there are lot of New York transplants in Vegas and the Met's hat was definitely a conversation starter.

I also remember a time Bart and I had driven to Montreal.  When we were returning to New York/USA the worker was a big fan and after asking us the standard questions we discussed the Mets....The line behind us was like a mile long but he didn't care...I felt a bit guilty that people were waiting, and perhaps they thought we were trouble-makers but Bart was happy so it worked out OK.

The rental car agency at fist gave us a very large SUV. I had my doubts about it because we had requested a smaller car. When we tried to leave the lot there was an issue because the contract was limited to the car we rented and the gate wouldn't go up....Bart and I tried a few times but to no avail. Instead Bart backed up the car all the way back to to rental building. Bart has had experience with driving UBER eats so he has a skilled driver. Fortunately for us.

Instead of the SUV we got a much smaller car instead....Bart took the precaution of walking around the car and taking a picture of a dent in the back. Surprisingly, unlike Enterprise rent-a-car they didn't do a walk around. It was good we did though...We informed the rental car company and off we went at 10:00 pm Las Vegas time which was more like 1:00 am New York.  I felt wiped. and we hadn't event left the airport.

Bart and I were hungry at this point and he suggested that we go to In and Out Burger.  

For some reason I had never heard of In and Out Burger.  It has been one of the most well known chains outside of New York and has been around almost as long as White Castle. In fact it looked a lot like White Castle.

We got to the restaurant around 10:30 I think they are open till 12:00 and we ordered the double burger. It was pretty good and the workers extremely nice, although like many places the fries were subpar.

Halfway through the meal three college-aged students approached us looking upset.

One man said, "Is that your white Toyota?"

He said this to us mid burger do I didn't know what was wrong. I hoped that someone hadn't broken into it. I mean we were there for like 15 minutes.

Bart said that it was and he said that he accidentally bumped into our car while backing up.

We exited the restaurant and all five of us went to inspect the car.  The young man thought he had caused a lot of damage to our bumper "I thought I only tapped it."

He didn't know there was a dent in it already.  We exchanged insurance information and hoped for the best. Bart wondered what we could do about the red paint on the car. I had an epiphany. I had a small bottle hand sanitizer spray from Trader Joes and sprayed it on the back of the car. At my school I have frequently used sanitizer to get rid of pen marks on desks and I reasoned we could do the same on the bumper. Turns out it worked like a charm. Like it never happened. As far as I know we were never charged.

After our late night snack we went to our hotel.  It was about a mile off the strip.

The next day we dined at our hotel's breakfast which was OK, but not really memorable.  Afterwards, we decided that we wanted to drive to Red Rock Canyon.

The drive is actually the same direction to Pahrump the location in the desert where there are brothels, but Bart and I were not looking for that kind of entertainment. Instead we just wanted some good hiking and fresh air.  We found both.

The air in Nevada is warm and dry and on this particular day not especially hot.  It's a good idea to make a reservation in advance for visiting this park, because they time your tour to reduce traffic in the area. I thought the hills were beautiful and red from the minerals, but when we entered the park I was blown away.  It looked like a scene from another planet. There is a lot more to the story, but I will save that for another time, and if you ever go to Vegas. I wish you good luck.

Post 187: Traci R

 

While lovers kissed the boat got closer,

While the wind blew it came nearer.

 

It crossed my line of sight,

The sails streamed by, but had no flight.

 

It moved on the power of gasoline,

Not currents, not wind, not even the human machine.

 

I smelled the scent of the sea,

But the gasoline was silent to me.

 

The ship dwarfed the others as it blew it’s mighty horn,

Not of vengeance, not of frustration, not of scorn.

 

The birds circled, but drew no further,

The water moved slowly, and the white was mirrored.

 

In the distance I saw the city down south,

And on the water was reflected the land and myself.

 

I heard the crows, the crashing of waves, and the wails of children,

I heard my heart softly beating,

And the bliss of the moment was captivating.

 

Slowly, slowly, the ship faded away,

But the moment was inside me now and would most definitely stay.

 

 

Art from the Heart · Traci R

Post 186: The Saddest Picture I Ever Saw

The saddest picture I ever saw was of my friend when he was three or four.

He was riding his father’s shoulders, and exuded a sweet smile,

No one could possibly know it would end in a short while.

He died inside his car you see,

He didn’t believe he should go on and breathe.

He didn’t think life had any meaning left,

But when we saw his pictures we all felt bereft.

And yet I see him every once in a while,

He is on the face of people who rarely smile.

I don’t need to see their faces or hear them when they speak,

I just look at their bodies, which always talk to me.

And when I get down I think of the sadness his death brought,

I think of my life, and all that it has taught.

So instead of doing something rash I call family instead,

But inside I wonder who is really at their end?

Who could really use a friend?

That’s why I keep on writing to save even one life,

The Talmud says it can save the world, and somehow that would make things right.

 

Post 185: Witness to Winter

I watched the hard compact balls of snow pass by me

Moving like bullets from a gun.

The battle waged savagely on the grounds of SUNY Albany

With volleys and parries, attacks, and counter attacks.

Fighting with such ferocity at this time of night you would think you were on the front lines of a world war.

Movement back and forth like stampeding cattle.

Yelling and shouts of joy, and then crushing defeat.

The thump sound of balls hitting their intended target,

And the softer sound of the ones off track.

I wonder how many of the participants are smiling.

I couldn’t tell in the cold black darkness, but I could imagine.

An image so large of so many imperfect smiles that it would give my orthodontist fits of joy.

I was a witness to all of this when a geodesic mini moon nearly made me unconscious.

I was saved by the thick glass windowpane and wind controlled-door.

Then smiling I peered underneath the white mark and gazed on in eagerness at the ensuing battle.

Participating vicariously, I dance back and forth while sitting in my cold but comfortable wheelchair.

Post 184: I Walked the Beach

I walked the beach to find a shell to keep,

But no matter how far I walked I could not find a representative of the ocean deep.

One that sparkled or shone with fire, and that could be seen alone in the dark sea,

I found out instead that nothing was more beautiful than what lay inside of me.

A clam, a pearl of potential, lies in all of us you see,

They speak of one thing, what makes one truly you, and truly me.

When you feel hurt or sad try to harvest your pearly gift,

Because your treasure is enough to always bring a certain lift.

And if you can’t find a pearl,

Why man give your imagination a whirl.

Think of all those sad faces that could use some cheer,

And if you found out how to change their lives you could cast away your own fear.

A bit lip never bleeds forever, and a broken heart can be mended,

A broken pot can be put back together, and as you tap your inner strength your troubles will seem like feathers.

Do not fear dying, or pains you imagine,

Just give of yourself, and anything can happen.

Post 183: I'll See Tomorrow's Sun

 

I’ll see tomorrow’s sun that I assure,

It doesn’t matter how much pain I must endure.

 

I feel like a painting because my limbs are attached to the wall,

But in my mind I am Monet, by a field of verdure.

 

Listening to Mozart instead of listening to others scream,

Picturing a different reality is something I dream.

 

I cannot hear my captors, but I hear them when they laugh,

And I think of my children, and I think of the past.

 

I think of God, the bible, and the book of psalms,

I think of heaven, Job, and the things I have done so far.

 

I dream of goals I will certainly attain,

I think of people I’ve met, and my last trip to Spain.

I remember family, and friends from the past,

I remember mistakes, and overcoming them at last.

 

I think of my wife, and the women I have known,

I think of lives I’ve touched, and the things I 've owned,

 

But most of all I think of tomorrow’s sun,

How warm it will feel when I finally go home.

 

 

Post 182: Its Hard to Be a Kid

It’s hard to be a kid these days,

It’s harder still when you are hurt for something that you say.

Hurt for what you do, and hurt for what you did,

Hurt for no reason and hurt because you hid.

They hit, they yell, they cast you glance,

They hold you so close, but could you ever enjoy that awful dance?

Like a python and its prey, what can someone trapped say?

Talk to a friend like a teacher, a coach, a priest, or some other,

They can really listen to your troubles like a devoted brother.

You think your life will get worse, but sometimes things get better,

Change your life, make that call, text, or email that letter.

Post 180: A Found Sunrise

This poem is dedicated to anyone in the world dealing with the difficulties such as the Covid epidemic, and and climate change.  Stay strong!

If you listen very closely,

And slowly open your eyes,

You can experience it very clearly,

Every morning sun at it’s rise.

Purple, orange, and a glint of green,

Are made daily by God’s great machine.

You can taste it in the dew,

You can smell it in the air,

Sweeter than a sugar beet, and oh so much more rare.

It tempts the inner soul to go to heaven’s gate,

To climb a forest tree, and share it with your mate.

Rainbows are infrequent,

Flowers come and go,

But give me a sunrise,

What a glorious show.

 

 

Post 178: Malfunctioning Gaydar

 

I just posted in the featured post area (Hoodie) about assumptions. I think it happened to me again  last night. I was out for dinner in Westchester, New York with a male friend whose wife was away in Vermont. We went to a nice Italian restaurant and had a seemingly good meal. Unfortunately later in the night after I had came home I became violently ill and made the bathroom sink look like a Salvatore Dali painting....Sorry Imelda (Our cleaning lady) She just cleaned it a few hours earlier.  One of my family members heard me vomiting and wanted to know if I was ok. Which I was for the most part.  I just didn't sleep well.

And to think I didn't go to a friend's party. Perhaps that would have been better, and less drama. Anyway, back to gaydar, I don't know if this has ever happened to you that you go out for a meal with a same sex friend and it seems that you are being perceived as gay and treated worse than if you are heterosexual. It took forever for our waiter to take our order. Maybe it was because it was a Saturday night and the restaurant was quite busy. I don't know.  I just feel that discrimination in any shape or form is wrong.

Unfortunately this was not the first time this has happened. My friend Pete and I once went to Jackson Hole diner in Bayside and struck up a nice conversation with a blond-headed waitress.  My friend sometimes is a little too effusive with praise, somewhere along the lines of "You are beautiful...etc." He even gave her his card when he found out she wanted to be a teacher to see if he could help her in her career path.  That turned out to be a mistake.

Apparently, she told one of my co-workers, Big John, that "Two gay teachers" came into the diner.

"What did they look like?" John asked.

"One had spikey hair and the other one was bald."

That created a great deal of laughter in our office, and anger from Pete and I.

"Bald!" I said to one of my friend, "I may be balding but I am not bald."

So that became the running joke that I was upset that I was perceived as bald, but didn't mind being called gay.  The truth is I am confident about my sexuality, but bald seems over the line.

There seems to be too many double standards in life.  An young male dates an older woman is perceived as fantasy for some but an older male with a young woman might be seen as a dirty old man.

A woman sleeps with a lot of guys and might be thought of as a slut or other bad word but a man who does the  same thing is a gigolo, a player, a boss, but really they are doing the same thing.  It's all how society looks at males and females.

A man kisses another guy and he is gay, but a woman who does the same thing with another woman is "experimenting" or "hot" double standard.

A man ages he is getting more mature or distinguished but a woman who gets older is just getting older. Double standard.

Life Lesson: I really don't know the answer to this all I can say is that society should treat men and women with equality and that we should be free to be ourselves, not prejudged, treated with courtesy, and that it is not what you have on your head, but what you have in your head that makes all the difference.

Post 177: Dreams

Dreams do not come true lying in bed,

Dreams do not come true when they remain in your head.

No, dreams are made by the force of will,

They aren’t just given to us, no magic pill.

Dreams can be translated into our lives,

If we determine they are our soul’s desire.

Fix them in your mind said Napoleon Hill,

And nothing can stop you, not voice, nor quill.

 

Post 176: Don't Turn Off the Light

Don’t turn off the light you have much yet to do,

The stars are always brightest on cold, clear nights, true?

You have people unmet never seen,

There are children unborn to be weaned.

There is happiness, love, and travel to and fro,

There are moments of laughter many more yet to go.

A light unlit will never cast a glow,

In darkness, it’s brilliance will easily show.

Even for a moment, brief it seems,

Could change other’s lives, and make other’s dreams.

Be an inspiration instead for others anon,

Don’t be afraid just leave the lights on.

Post 175: A Shot

 

 

A shot rang out in Philadelphia,

The car didn’t stop, but their hearts did.

No reason at all for the madness,

No reason or cause,

No drugs, no women, just death.

The wild streets of Philly.

And although we could not hear the shot, or feel the cold bullet pass,

We read the pain in their faces from the photograph in the paper on a Sunday afternoon over bagels and large glasses of orange juice.

Post 174: He Wished He Had Gone Directly Home

 

He wished he had gone directly home,

Instead of making a bad decision that he now has to own.

 

He gave the woman her money,

They did the dirty deed,

And now he lives with regrets that haunt his every dream.

 

He wakes up covered in sweat in the middle of the night,

And thinks of his awful choices, and feels a sense of fright.

 

I should have been more careful!

I should have used my head!

Instead he was reckless,

And now may wind up dead.

 

I wish I was stronger,

I wish I could go back,

But life doesn’t work that way,

And unfortunately that is that.

 

And now that he’s here, and desperately wants to live,

If only there were do-overs,

If only he could forgive.

 

What do you do when you make a bad choice?

Pick up the pieces, and ignore that inner voice.

 

Take a deep breath, and believe you can cope today,

Learn from your mistakes, and love yourself unconditionally.

Post 173: Nightingale

Crickets chirping.

Willows cry.

Stars so bright in the sky.

The moonlight glistened,

The air was still,

I watched it all and drank my fill.

Next morning I awoke to find you by my side,

Warmth so intense you make my body come alive,

Open your eyes my gem, my prize.

Awake to my kiss,

Bring me my bliss,

You’re sight do I miss.

You’re breath is like the playing of violins,

It rises, it falls, again, and again.

Your hair is like yellow gold,

Your lips like rubies.

When I am with you I feel wealthier than the richest king,

Oh darling awake, oh nightingale, please sing.

Post 172 I Love You

 

 

It’s hard to fit my love on a sheet that’s 8 by 10,

Because I love you so much, and your more than just a friend.

 

I could categorize the things about you that fill me with pride,

I could make long laundry lists of my feelings inside.

 

I could fill a dictionary with words of how I feel,

But I would rather tell you that I love you, and that my feelings are real.

 

You are sunshine and perfume and a tasty strawberry pie,

You are a blessing, a comfort, and so very warm inside.

 

You are an ear, a smile, a midnight breeze,

You are my doctor, my accountant, my lover, and my dream.

 

You are soft like a dandelion, a sea of emotion,

My love is drawn to you like rain to the ocean.

 

Your blue eyes are beautiful like a newborn child’s,

And when I see them I notice a reflection of my smile.

 

I hold your body close, and hug till we’re content,

I will love your forever, and my love will never end.

Post 171: The Hunt for Love

 

Have you spent your day,

And not admired the sky?

Have you thought to yourself,

I don’t know why?

 

Stone and steel replace gardens and grass,

The hurried pace,

How long will it last?

 

What about this thing called love?

Have you found the person you’ve been thinking of?

 

Have you longed to have them,

But only found them in your dreams?

Can you feel their touch,

How real it all seems.

 

I’ve hunted for my love like a hunter hunting game,

I’ve found it more elusive,

It’s driven me insane.

 

Just when I think I have her, my trap is full of holes,

Just when I think my arms will hold her, she’s gone to where no one knows.

 

Oh beautiful bird return to me and give up your protracted flight,

Come back to me and live with me,

I’ll love you every night.

 

Post 170: Green Lights

Apologies to Matthew, but this is not about you.

This is for the things we seek but can never quite attain.

When I see the green lights in the distance, the beautiful green lights, I always cry.

Cry for a life that could have been.

Cry for missed opportunities and unrequited love.

I know I’m not famous, but why not me? Why not me?

You are not getting any younger.

What are you looking for? They always want to know.

How can I explain the green lights?

Have they ever seen them too?

You are too old they say. 

Too old to believe in dreams.

And what about you I want to ask

I have even seen the lights in my dreams.

Green lights with narrow eyes, slender thighs, and waists you could put one arm around and still have plenty of room.

You cannot have that they say.

Disgusting

You’re too old for them.

But can’t I dream?

I was young once.

Don’t I deserve love too?

Is it really too late?

I see other people that are happy, together, and wonder why can’t it be so?

You must be gay they say with a laugh.

No, but does that really matter?

Everyone deserves a shot at love.

A chance

A green light

Fitz thought so too.

Or so he wished.

54, 55, 56

If not now, then when?

When?

No rhyme

No reason

No time like the present

I still have the juice.

I still have the dream.

I’ll leave the light on for you forever I promise.

Whatever the color

Post 169: Stay Strong

 

 

The Covid-19 virus is here.

The people are feeling fear.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The hospitals are filled.

The people are getting ill.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The patient has died.

The family have all cried.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The essential workers are exhausted.

Their gowns and PPEs were used too often.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The oxygen tanks are depleted.

You are feeling defeated.

And still I say, say strong!

 

This pandemic will not last

You have the strength to kick its’ ass.

And so, I say, stay strong!

People of the world please listen.

Make survival and helping others your mission.

And so, I say, stay strong!

 

We have faced this challenge too.

And we are all here for you.

And so, I say, stay strong!

 

I am not a doctor so I can’t cure your pain.

But I hope these words can help do the same.

And so, I say, stay strong!

 

That is all I have to say.

The virus will go away someday I pray.

Hang in there, and stay strong!