Post 189: Stop Running!

Stop running!

Stop running!

We just want to talk

Stop running!

Stop running!

We think it’s your fault

We saw you at the jobsite

We know what you did

You committed the crimes

You ran and you hid

We’ve got the proof

And the truck to arrest

We know the truth

And your hide we’ll get get

You ain’t no peach

But a plum to the core

Our true president knows

He knows the score

What hate? we’re just doing our jobs

The police are busy with your angry mobs

My son, my friend and I are jury and judge

Who needs the police when I have my truck and my gun?

Don’t move. don’t fight back!

Kyle said it’s self defense

And by God that’s going to be our tact.

Arrested? for what?

You committed the crime.

A trio of murder. Really?

We have to do the time?

Yes, because unlike you, 

We have impartial jurors and

Scales of justice that are blind.

R.I.P. Ahmaud Arbery

Post 188: Viva Las Vegas

 

Earlier this year I went with my friend Bart to Las Vegas.  It was my first time going and a very good time.

People always say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but since there wasn't anything salacious about the experience. I thought I would share a few things that happened.

First of all never pay full price if you can. Not that I am an expert, but from watching some youtube videos that suggest staying during the week because hotel rates are a lot lower....we didnt do that but I was able to use some rewards points to get two free nights.  Originally the plan was to listen to a timeshare spiel which I had paid for in advance, but the chain didn't have the weekend I wanted so we did this instead.

My friend had a wedding to attend in Arizona so I thought we could kill two birds with one stone.

Prior to the trip we stopped in at a few lounges at JFK.  Timing is everything they say.  The first lounge was called the Maharajah I believe with an Indian theme/cuisine, but because they were about to close we were only able to get a few grapes and some water.. The worker there was kind enough to get us some.  She did inform me however that another lounge called Wings was open in another part of the terminal so we went there quickly to see what we could obtain.

The lounge was great.  They had free hot and cold drinks and real food.. Chicken with rice and beans...We also loaded up on energy bars. In retrospect, I probably should have avoided the beans....Never a good idea to have spicy food prior to a plane flight, and lets not forget the flatulence too.

The flight was pretty uneventful only a small bit of turbulence, and Bart and I watched The Hangover at the same time. A great film to see before traveling to Vegas. I also got to watch A Quiet Place (loved it)

When we arrived in Vegas, I was amazed that they have slot machines in the airport and the amount of advertising reminded me of Times Square.

Bart's cousin is a travel agent so she got us a good deal on rental car from an agency I never heard of before...The employee was from New York and loved Bart's Met's hat. Bart is a diehard fan. It seems that there are lot of New York transplants in Vegas and the Met's hat was definitely a conversation starter.

I also remember a time Bart and I had driven to Montreal.  When we were returning to New York/USA the worker was a big fan and after asking us the standard questions we discussed the Mets....The line behind us was like a mile long but he didn't care...I felt a bit guilty that people were waiting, and perhaps they thought we were trouble-makers but Bart was happy so it worked out OK.

The rental car agency at fist gave us a very large SUV. I had my doubts about it because we had requested a smaller car. When we tried to leave the lot there was an issue because the contract was limited to the car we rented and the gate wouldn't go up....Bart and I tried a few times but to no avail. Instead Bart backed up the car all the way back to to rental building. Bart has had experience with driving UBER eats so he has a skilled driver. Fortunately for us.

Instead of the SUV we got a much smaller car instead....Bart took the precaution of walking around the car and taking a picture of a dent in the back. Surprisingly, unlike Enterprise rent-a-car they didn't do a walk around. It was good we did though...We informed the rental car company and off we went at 10:00 pm Las Vegas time which was more like 1:00 am New York.  I felt wiped. and we hadn't event left the airport.

Bart and I were hungry at this point and he suggested that we go to In and Out Burger.  

For some reason I had never heard of In and Out Burger.  It has been one of the most well known chains outside of New York and has been around almost as long as White Castle. In fact it looked a lot like White Castle.

We got to the restaurant around 10:30 I think they are open till 12:00 and we ordered the double burger. It was pretty good and the workers extremely nice, although like many places the fries were subpar.

Halfway through the meal three college-aged students approached us looking upset.

One man said, "Is that your white Toyota?"

He said this to us mid burger do I didn't know what was wrong. I hoped that someone hadn't broken into it. I mean we were there for like 15 minutes.

Bart said that it was and he said that he accidentally bumped into our car while backing up.

We exited the restaurant and all five of us went to inspect the car.  The young man thought he had caused a lot of damage to our bumper "I thought I only tapped it."

He didn't know there was a dent in it already.  We exchanged insurance information and hoped for the best. Bart wondered what we could do about the red paint on the car. I had an epiphany. I had a small bottle hand sanitizer spray from Trader Joes and sprayed it on the back of the car. At my school I have frequently used sanitizer to get rid of pen marks on desks and I reasoned we could do the same on the bumper. Turns out it worked like a charm. Like it never happened. As far as I know we were never charged.

After our late night snack we went to our hotel.  It was about a mile off the strip.

The next day we dined at our hotel's breakfast which was OK, but not really memorable.  Afterwards, we decided that we wanted to drive to Red Rock Canyon.

The drive is actually the same direction to Pahrump the location in the desert where there are brothels, but Bart and I were not looking for that kind of entertainment. Instead we just wanted some good hiking and fresh air.  We found both.

The air in Nevada is warm and dry and on this particular day not especially hot.  It's a good idea to make a reservation in advance for visiting this park, because they time your tour to reduce traffic in the area. I thought the hills were beautiful and red from the minerals, but when we entered the park I was blown away.  It looked like a scene from another planet. There is a lot more to the story, but I will save that for another time, and if you ever go to Vegas. I wish you good luck.

Post 187: Traci R

 

While lovers kissed the boat got closer,

While the wind blew it came nearer.

 

It crossed my line of sight,

The sails streamed by, but had no flight.

 

It moved on the power of gasoline,

Not currents, not wind, not even the human machine.

 

I smelled the scent of the sea,

But the gasoline was silent to me.

 

The ship dwarfed the others as it blew it’s mighty horn,

Not of vengeance, not of frustration, not of scorn.

 

The birds circled, but drew no further,

The water moved slowly, and the white was mirrored.

 

In the distance I saw the city down south,

And on the water was reflected the land and myself.

 

I heard the crows, the crashing of waves, and the wails of children,

I heard my heart softly beating,

And the bliss of the moment was captivating.

 

Slowly, slowly, the ship faded away,

But the moment was inside me now and would most definitely stay.

 

 

Art from the Heart · Traci R

Post 186: The Saddest Picture I Ever Saw

The saddest picture I ever saw was of my friend when he was three or four.

He was riding his father’s shoulders, and exuded a sweet smile,

No one could possibly know it would end in a short while.

He died inside his car you see,

He didn’t believe he should go on and breathe.

He didn’t think life had any meaning left,

But when we saw his pictures we all felt bereft.

And yet I see him every once in a while,

He is on the face of people who rarely smile.

I don’t need to see their faces or hear them when they speak,

I just look at their bodies, which always talk to me.

And when I get down I think of the sadness his death brought,

I think of my life, and all that it has taught.

So instead of doing something rash I call family instead,

But inside I wonder who is really at their end?

Who could really use a friend?

That’s why I keep on writing to save even one life,

The Talmud says it can save the world, and somehow that would make things right.

 

Post 185: Witness to Winter

I watched the hard compact balls of snow pass by me

Moving like bullets from a gun.

The battle waged savagely on the grounds of SUNY Albany

With volleys and parries, attacks, and counter attacks.

Fighting with such ferocity at this time of night you would think you were on the front lines of a world war.

Movement back and forth like stampeding cattle.

Yelling and shouts of joy, and then crushing defeat.

The thump sound of balls hitting their intended target,

And the softer sound of the ones off track.

I wonder how many of the participants are smiling.

I couldn’t tell in the cold black darkness, but I could imagine.

An image so large of so many imperfect smiles that it would give my orthodontist fits of joy.

I was a witness to all of this when a geodesic mini moon nearly made me unconscious.

I was saved by the thick glass windowpane and wind controlled-door.

Then smiling I peered underneath the white mark and gazed on in eagerness at the ensuing battle.

Participating vicariously, I dance back and forth while sitting in my cold but comfortable wheelchair.

Post 184: I Walked the Beach

I walked the beach to find a shell to keep,

But no matter how far I walked I could not find a representative of the ocean deep.

One that sparkled or shone with fire, and that could be seen alone in the dark sea,

I found out instead that nothing was more beautiful than what lay inside of me.

A clam, a pearl of potential, lies in all of us you see,

They speak of one thing, what makes one truly you, and truly me.

When you feel hurt or sad try to harvest your pearly gift,

Because your treasure is enough to always bring a certain lift.

And if you can’t find a pearl,

Why man give your imagination a whirl.

Think of all those sad faces that could use some cheer,

And if you found out how to change their lives you could cast away your own fear.

A bit lip never bleeds forever, and a broken heart can be mended,

A broken pot can be put back together, and as you tap your inner strength your troubles will seem like feathers.

Do not fear dying, or pains you imagine,

Just give of yourself, and anything can happen.

Post 183: I'll See Tomorrow's Sun

 

I’ll see tomorrow’s sun that I assure,

It doesn’t matter how much pain I must endure.

 

I feel like a painting because my limbs are attached to the wall,

But in my mind I am Monet, by a field of verdure.

 

Listening to Mozart instead of listening to others scream,

Picturing a different reality is something I dream.

 

I cannot hear my captors, but I hear them when they laugh,

And I think of my children, and I think of the past.

 

I think of God, the bible, and the book of psalms,

I think of heaven, Job, and the things I have done so far.

 

I dream of goals I will certainly attain,

I think of people I’ve met, and my last trip to Spain.

I remember family, and friends from the past,

I remember mistakes, and overcoming them at last.

 

I think of my wife, and the women I have known,

I think of lives I’ve touched, and the things I 've owned,

 

But most of all I think of tomorrow’s sun,

How warm it will feel when I finally go home.

 

 

Post 182: Its Hard to Be a Kid

It’s hard to be a kid these days,

It’s harder still when you are hurt for something that you say.

Hurt for what you do, and hurt for what you did,

Hurt for no reason and hurt because you hid.

They hit, they yell, they cast you glance,

They hold you so close, but could you ever enjoy that awful dance?

Like a python and its prey, what can someone trapped say?

Talk to a friend like a teacher, a coach, a priest, or some other,

They can really listen to your troubles like a devoted brother.

You think your life will get worse, but sometimes things get better,

Change your life, make that call, text, or email that letter.

Post 180: A Found Sunrise

This poem is dedicated to anyone in the world dealing with the difficulties such as the Covid epidemic, and and climate change.  Stay strong!

If you listen very closely,

And slowly open your eyes,

You can experience it very clearly,

Every morning sun at it’s rise.

Purple, orange, and a glint of green,

Are made daily by God’s great machine.

You can taste it in the dew,

You can smell it in the air,

Sweeter than a sugar beet, and oh so much more rare.

It tempts the inner soul to go to heaven’s gate,

To climb a forest tree, and share it with your mate.

Rainbows are infrequent,

Flowers come and go,

But give me a sunrise,

What a glorious show.

 

 

Post 178: Malfunctioning Gaydar

 

I just posted in the featured post area (Hoodie) about assumptions. I think it happened to me again  last night. I was out for dinner in Westchester, New York with a male friend whose wife was away in Vermont. We went to a nice Italian restaurant and had a seemingly good meal. Unfortunately later in the night after I had came home I became violently ill and made the bathroom sink look like a Salvatore Dali painting....Sorry Imelda (Our cleaning lady) She just cleaned it a few hours earlier.  One of my family members heard me vomiting and wanted to know if I was ok. Which I was for the most part.  I just didn't sleep well.

And to think I didn't go to a friend's party. Perhaps that would have been better, and less drama. Anyway, back to gaydar, I don't know if this has ever happened to you that you go out for a meal with a same sex friend and it seems that you are being perceived as gay and treated worse than if you are heterosexual. It took forever for our waiter to take our order. Maybe it was because it was a Saturday night and the restaurant was quite busy. I don't know.  I just feel that discrimination in any shape or form is wrong.

Unfortunately this was not the first time this has happened. My friend Pete and I once went to Jackson Hole diner in Bayside and struck up a nice conversation with a blond-headed waitress.  My friend sometimes is a little too effusive with praise, somewhere along the lines of "You are beautiful...etc." He even gave her his card when he found out she wanted to be a teacher to see if he could help her in her career path.  That turned out to be a mistake.

Apparently, she told one of my co-workers, Big John, that "Two gay teachers" came into the diner.

"What did they look like?" John asked.

"One had spikey hair and the other one was bald."

That created a great deal of laughter in our office, and anger from Pete and I.

"Bald!" I said to one of my friend, "I may be balding but I am not bald."

So that became the running joke that I was upset that I was perceived as bald, but didn't mind being called gay.  The truth is I am confident about my sexuality, but bald seems over the line.

There seems to be too many double standards in life.  An young male dates an older woman is perceived as fantasy for some but an older male with a young woman might be seen as a dirty old man.

A woman sleeps with a lot of guys and might be thought of as a slut or other bad word but a man who does the  same thing is a gigolo, a player, a boss, but really they are doing the same thing.  It's all how society looks at males and females.

A man kisses another guy and he is gay, but a woman who does the same thing with another woman is "experimenting" or "hot" double standard.

A man ages he is getting more mature or distinguished but a woman who gets older is just getting older. Double standard.

Life Lesson: I really don't know the answer to this all I can say is that society should treat men and women with equality and that we should be free to be ourselves, not prejudged, treated with courtesy, and that it is not what you have on your head, but what you have in your head that makes all the difference.

Post 177: Dreams

Dreams do not come true lying in bed,

Dreams do not come true when they remain in your head.

No, dreams are made by the force of will,

They aren’t just given to us, no magic pill.

Dreams can be translated into our lives,

If we determine they are our soul’s desire.

Fix them in your mind said Napoleon Hill,

And nothing can stop you, not voice, nor quill.

 

Post 176: Don't Turn Off the Light

Don’t turn off the light you have much yet to do,

The stars are always brightest on cold, clear nights, true?

You have people unmet never seen,

There are children unborn to be weaned.

There is happiness, love, and travel to and fro,

There are moments of laughter many more yet to go.

A light unlit will never cast a glow,

In darkness, it’s brilliance will easily show.

Even for a moment, brief it seems,

Could change other’s lives, and make other’s dreams.

Be an inspiration instead for others anon,

Don’t be afraid just leave the lights on.

Post 175: A Shot

 

 

A shot rang out in Philadelphia,

The car didn’t stop, but their hearts did.

No reason at all for the madness,

No reason or cause,

No drugs, no women, just death.

The wild streets of Philly.

And although we could not hear the shot, or feel the cold bullet pass,

We read the pain in their faces from the photograph in the paper on a Sunday afternoon over bagels and large glasses of orange juice.

Post 174: He Wished He Had Gone Directly Home

 

He wished he had gone directly home,

Instead of making a bad decision that he now has to own.

 

He gave the woman her money,

They did the dirty deed,

And now he lives with regrets that haunt his every dream.

 

He wakes up covered in sweat in the middle of the night,

And thinks of his awful choices, and feels a sense of fright.

 

I should have been more careful!

I should have used my head!

Instead he was reckless,

And now may wind up dead.

 

I wish I was stronger,

I wish I could go back,

But life doesn’t work that way,

And unfortunately that is that.

 

And now that he’s here, and desperately wants to live,

If only there were do-overs,

If only he could forgive.

 

What do you do when you make a bad choice?

Pick up the pieces, and ignore that inner voice.

 

Take a deep breath, and believe you can cope today,

Learn from your mistakes, and love yourself unconditionally.

Post 173: Nightingale

Crickets chirping.

Willows cry.

Stars so bright in the sky.

The moonlight glistened,

The air was still,

I watched it all and drank my fill.

Next morning I awoke to find you by my side,

Warmth so intense you make my body come alive,

Open your eyes my gem, my prize.

Awake to my kiss,

Bring me my bliss,

You’re sight do I miss.

You’re breath is like the playing of violins,

It rises, it falls, again, and again.

Your hair is like yellow gold,

Your lips like rubies.

When I am with you I feel wealthier than the richest king,

Oh darling awake, oh nightingale, please sing.

Post 172 I Love You

 

 

It’s hard to fit my love on a sheet that’s 8 by 10,

Because I love you so much, and your more than just a friend.

 

I could categorize the things about you that fill me with pride,

I could make long laundry lists of my feelings inside.

 

I could fill a dictionary with words of how I feel,

But I would rather tell you that I love you, and that my feelings are real.

 

You are sunshine and perfume and a tasty strawberry pie,

You are a blessing, a comfort, and so very warm inside.

 

You are an ear, a smile, a midnight breeze,

You are my doctor, my accountant, my lover, and my dream.

 

You are soft like a dandelion, a sea of emotion,

My love is drawn to you like rain to the ocean.

 

Your blue eyes are beautiful like a newborn child’s,

And when I see them I notice a reflection of my smile.

 

I hold your body close, and hug till we’re content,

I will love your forever, and my love will never end.

Post 171: The Hunt for Love

 

Have you spent your day,

And not admired the sky?

Have you thought to yourself,

I don’t know why?

 

Stone and steel replace gardens and grass,

The hurried pace,

How long will it last?

 

What about this thing called love?

Have you found the person you’ve been thinking of?

 

Have you longed to have them,

But only found them in your dreams?

Can you feel their touch,

How real it all seems.

 

I’ve hunted for my love like a hunter hunting game,

I’ve found it more elusive,

It’s driven me insane.

 

Just when I think I have her, my trap is full of holes,

Just when I think my arms will hold her, she’s gone to where no one knows.

 

Oh beautiful bird return to me and give up your protracted flight,

Come back to me and live with me,

I’ll love you every night.

 

Post 170: Green Lights

Apologies to Matthew, but this is not about you.

This is for the things we seek but can never quite attain.

When I see the green lights in the distance, the beautiful green lights, I always cry.

Cry for a life that could have been.

Cry for missed opportunities and unrequited love.

I know I’m not famous, but why not me? Why not me?

You are not getting any younger.

What are you looking for? They always want to know.

How can I explain the green lights?

Have they ever seen them too?

You are too old they say. 

Too old to believe in dreams.

And what about you I want to ask

I have even seen the lights in my dreams.

Green lights with narrow eyes, slender thighs, and waists you could put one arm around and still have plenty of room.

You cannot have that they say.

Disgusting

You’re too old for them.

But can’t I dream?

I was young once.

Don’t I deserve love too?

Is it really too late?

I see other people that are happy, together, and wonder why can’t it be so?

You must be gay they say with a laugh.

No, but does that really matter?

Everyone deserves a shot at love.

A chance

A green light

Fitz thought so too.

Or so he wished.

54, 55, 56

If not now, then when?

When?

No rhyme

No reason

No time like the present

I still have the juice.

I still have the dream.

I’ll leave the light on for you forever I promise.

Whatever the color

Post 169: Stay Strong

 

 

The Covid-19 virus is here.

The people are feeling fear.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The hospitals are filled.

The people are getting ill.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The patient has died.

The family have all cried.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The essential workers are exhausted.

Their gowns and PPEs were used too often.

And still I say, stay strong!

 

The oxygen tanks are depleted.

You are feeling defeated.

And still I say, say strong!

 

This pandemic will not last

You have the strength to kick its’ ass.

And so, I say, stay strong!

People of the world please listen.

Make survival and helping others your mission.

And so, I say, stay strong!

 

We have faced this challenge too.

And we are all here for you.

And so, I say, stay strong!

 

I am not a doctor so I can’t cure your pain.

But I hope these words can help do the same.

And so, I say, stay strong!

 

That is all I have to say.

The virus will go away someday I pray.

Hang in there, and stay strong!

Post 168: More Dating Disasters

It seems that everyone has at least one dating horror story on the road to a good relationship. Unfortunately, my road is more like the Beatle's song, "A long and windy road." and I'm still on it.

My sister says I'm too picky. I don't think that's it I just haven't found Ms. Right. I would settle for Ms. Right Now.

Where to begin? Well, the late George Carlin once said he never slept with a 10, but has slept with five 2's...I don't think my track record is that bad, because I have had some good long term relationships, but it has been a while and sometimes I feel like a camel wandering between oasis's for a drink. The Covid-19 crisis hasn't helped dating because people were reluctant to meet, but maybe now that many more people are getting vaccinated it will become more like the roaring twenties...who knows...We can only hope.

So, I mentioned once about a few women that I dated, but there are a lot more...I don't know why some women don't want to go on a second date. I was willing in many cases. Here are some excuses I have heard on first dates from the women I wanted to see again. 

I'm sorry but...

1) I'm moving to Boston

2) I'm moving to Israel

Another time I had a nice date at a Greek restaurant in Astoria. The woman met me there, and then when I suggested we go for dessert afterwards at a local place, she refused to get into my car. I know people are cautious but how about just saying, "another time"

I've had women say they can't go for a walk after lunch because they have narcolepsy and may fall asleep, and another woman who when I came back from the bathroom already had her coat on.. Was it something I said?

I took one woman I dated on a camping trip to Bear Mountain State Park with my sister and brother-in-law. Halfway through the trip, she stopped talking to me. How would you handle that? She wouldn't even say why.

Sometimes I must confess I get a bit turned off too. I asked one woman for a date and she replied that she had to spend time with her kids. When I asked how many she laughed and then said "six."

My worst date however was someone I met a singles event. I should have realized she was a bit off because we fooled around at the event.

Later I scheduled a date but for some reason she wanted to do a double date. I asked my friend Michael to be my wingman and because he was single at the time agreed to join me on our only double and my worst.

We met at a diner in New York City...The other women Karen and Michelle had eaten there several times, and apparently this was "their place."  They knew the food and several of the waiters.

At first things seemed OK, but then my date Karen started ordering dish after dish after dish. Now I have no problem taking a woman to a nice restaurant. I never expect her to pay the bill, but this was getting ridiculous. 

My friend Sam once dated a woman who would always order a second dish so she could get a second meal.  I think that is a bit tacky, but in my case it seemed more like this was the woman's last meal and she wanted to try everything on the menu.

The dishes kept coming and coming, and then when I thought things couldn't get worse they did.  Mike's date Michelle started hitting on the waiter.

She complimented him and then said, "What do you think about my body?

I couldn't believe it, and I looked at Mike and he said in Hebrew,

"Hazar ha bayta" (Head home)

When I asked?

NOW he replied in Hebrew

When our dates were in the bathroom we were discussing just ditching them because of their rudeness, but even though I considered it I think two rights don't make a wrong and sucked it up and paid the bill.

I thought our problems were over but in the end Michelle left some of her clothes in my car, and while I was tempted to throw them out I actually mailed it back to her. Although, I probably should have sent them C.O.D.

They next day Karen called me to thank me for the meal, and then asked what did Mike think of Karen.

I exploded with anger  and yelled into phone, "You are both so rude. How could you hit on the waiter, order so much food, etc." and then hung up.

She called back.  My mother picked up the phone and said, "He's not home."  Something I appreciated very much.

In the end I never saw either of them again, but the memory of that experience still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Even worse than the food I ate that night.

Life Lesson 168: My brother Dan once about said about women, "Never run for a bus, because there is always another one coming soon." I agree with that statement, but I would add that the next time you hit on someone make sure the sure the person is normal because if you date them instead of the wonderful trip together may feel like the bus ran over you.

Post 167: What I Learned About Life From Trying to Fix My Printer

I wanted to inform my readers that I am in the process of putting this blog into book format which should be available (I hope) by the end of the summer, and if anyone would like me to a do a reading in their community please let me know. (I've always wanted to visit Bali for example) Thank you also for reading the blog.....If you can, please leave comments...I appreciate the feedback...

Yesterday, I started printing out a few of the stories that I may include in my third book. The problem was that I needed to insert a new ink cartridge. I don't know if any of you have tried to do this, but generally it is not that difficult, but for some reason I struggled. It is a new printer.

I looked up online that you should insert the cartridge in the front of the machine, but because I had never done this before for this particular printer (A brother printer) I was stumped. I tried inserting in the back but it wasn't working...

As part of my bumbling first efforts parts of the back of the printer started falling off...I grew very frustrated and I hate to say it but actually started banging on it and then it fell on the ground....down for the count. I felt defeated...and a good deal of self-loathing...I mean I've been to Afghanistan,  climbed Mt. Washington, ridden in six bike tours, written books, surely I cannot be stopped by a simple printer.

Later in the shower, the pity party continued...

"I should of done this....I should of done that....I'm a terrible person etc."

I once went to the late psychologist Albert Ellis for therapy.. Before my first session I was analyzed on stage in front of  close to a hundred people at his clinic in New York City. My topic as I recall was that I had, no surprise, writers block...I guess he cured me of that problem. Thank you Dr. Ellis. Whenever I look at the photo from the night with him and my brother I always smile.

 I also got to have therapy with him. He is a legend in the world of psychology and quite a character.  We would have therapy sessions and he never wore shoes...He just didn't care what others think...and he cursed a lot.. Amazingly he also took my insurance. Dr. Ellis often said that we should try to avoid "shoulding" on ourselves or "awfulizing" and be more rational when it comes to our thoughts...

I think after my shower and remembering that words count I did a bit of cognitive restructuring and returned to my printer...I considered using money to get a new printer but I wanted to give  it one more try.

So I returned to the scene of the crime and tried again...I was more calm and tried to reverse engineer my printer. It reminded me of the nursery rhyme of Humpty Dumpty. I vowed to do a better job.

I looked at the printer to see if I could fix it...first I started with the paper tray. I was able to insert it (Last time I was trying to put it back in the wrong direction) and to think I have a Master's degree. Then I put the individual page feeder back...progress.

Next, I put the new cartridge in (from the front) it was so easy.

Now for my next hurdle...The back of the printer...I had three pieces to put back...I felt like the guys who are disarming a bomb but I took my time and was able to put one piece on correctly, then a second, and finally the rear door...

I held my breath and the printer worked...or so I thought....It does print but if the rear of the printer is closed it jams....Fortunately it still works and I put a letter tray to left of the printer and the sheets drop in there like a Rube Goldberg invention. I was very frustrated at first but I think it was a valuable learning experience. This is what I learned...

1) If you don't know how to do something look it up

2) Follow directions!

3) Don't be afraid to ask for help

4) If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break

5) Getting angry or hitting something/someone never solves the problem and can often cause resentment or things breaking...literally

6) Assess the problem

7) Problem solve one step at a time

8) Give yourself credit for your efforts

9) Sometimes you can't put things back together again, or if you do it may not be perfect.

10) Don't "Should on yourself "

11) You can do more than you think even if you have never done it before.

12) Don't give up too soon.

13) Think outside the box

Post 166: God?

Hey God, are you there?

Its’ me do you have some time to spare?

I want to know if you really care,

To find out if you are more than just plain air.

From up high, higher than a bird can fly,

I want you to look at the world you created with your special eye.

It took you just six days to create it so I won’t fault you for that,

But since then, your people have grown lazy and fat.

Good and evil are represented for sure,

There are your angels, and those rotten to the core.

There are even those in between, 

And I think you know who I mean.

But the plight of the planet is vested in us,

And I’m glad you’ve given us your great trust.

Can you ever forgive us for the mess that we made?

To cut down all the beautiful trees that once gave us shade.

We’ve polluted the waters and made the fish die,

You know God, I wouldn’t be surprised if you broke down and cried.

All I want God is one more chance,

I think we’re a good gamble,

I think we’ll advance.

With technology I hope goes caution too,

I want the seas to remain being blue,

Have faith in us God and we’ll be true.

Post 165: Sunset at Steppingstone Park

 

 

It’s 8:30 p.m. do you know where you heart it is?

I know where mine is,

It’s here at the park with my mother and brother,

As we sit and watch the sun set.

 

The lights have just come on,

And in the distance the sun has gone to sleep,

And soon we will too.

 

But not yet,

Not yet.

 

There are still wisps of sun decorating the sky like cotton candy or Kris Kringle’s beard only orange not white or pink.

 

Tattered American flags decorate the dock fluttering in the wind like my heart.

They are a reminder of a Memorial Day gone by,

Gone, but not forgotten.

 

Two planes fly in the distance in opposite directions,

And though I hear them I really can’t tell what sound is which plane,

The sky grows in orange brilliance, and puts the LED lights to shame.

 

Sailboats and motorboats bob and bob,

And I try to ignore the mosquitoes as long as I can.

 

It was so hot today more like August than June.

I hid inside to escape and fell asleep by the air conditioner, and felt more like a bear than a man.

 

But here at the dock tonight no AC is needed at all,

Only a gentle breeze.

 

We are witnesses to God’s paintbrush,

And even the beautiful Asian women that walk past me like Gatsby’s green lights are forgotten for a while.

 

For beauty nature has no rival,

For it’s sunsets there is no compare,

They are truly a marvel,

Steppingstone Park please wait for us,

How we all long to visit you and stare.

 

Post 164: Not Enough Change

 

This is poem is based on a true encounter that I witnessed in a store.

Young man, young man, what is it that you have there?

Two six packs of soda, and no money to spare.

Those aren’t the cheap ones, those aren’t on sale,

The boy looked puzzled, and body seemed frail.

She smiled and pointed to go to aisle eight,

He quickly flew there without a debate.

Are you from the projects? She asked with a smile,

Yes, he said without a hint of denial.

She empathized with him she had been there before,

She lived there once, and had always wanted more.

You don’t have enough change I can’t make this sale,

His young face blanched, and body turned pale.

She changed her mind, and gave him a wink,

Just don’t tell my super you know what he would think,

He would come over and make a big stink.

The boy was grateful what more could he say,

Except for a simple thank you it brightened his day.

One small act can mean so very much,

I was touched by the moment it was something I could clutch.

Then he was gone and out of my gaze,

I wonder if I could get her a raise.

Post 163: Obsessions

Are obsessions ever good for us? 

Do they ever make us strong? 

Or do they just bring us to our knees? 

Because we know that they are wrong. 

My friend obsesses about his job, 

But dwelling doesn’t do a thing, 

It just keeps him up at night, 

And gives him endless grief. 

Some obsess over women, 

They can’t get enough, 

And yet even when satisfied feel empty, 

Because they know it isn’t love. 

Some pine for unrequited love, 

Some pursue lost dreams, and never give up. 

Obsessions are like misplaced keys and wallets, 

They can make life extremely tough. 

But having a goal and taking small steps is a good place to start,

Just don’t let your thoughts be your master, 

For they can become a new drug.

 

So keep dreaming and pursue what gives you joy, 

Just remember to keep certain thoughts fleeting, 

Because obsessions can make life feel wrong.