Post 201: Things I wish I could Unsee but Can't

Yesterday I went to a junior varsity basketball game in Canarsie Brooklyn (New York) To watch my friend coach against a team from Staten Island. The game was very close and my friend's team ended up losing by two points at the buzzer. Personally I think there was some bad reffing by the officials which contributed to the loss. The fans at Wanger High School were very disrespectful too. Who runs onto a court after a basketball game? I was concerned for the players safety. There was barely any security either.

Coming back to my house I went to an outstanding Pizza restaurant. Now, normally the place is great. I had two slices a plain (terrific) and a Sicilian slice (just ok) the problem is when I went to leave the restaurant I had to use the bathroom and there was only one stall available.  I used the toilet and then went to use the sink to wash my hands.  I got the shock of my life because I saw a huge amount of hair in the sink, but not just any hair but black pubic hair I believe.  I want to think it was beard hair (I hope) but either way why was the sink completely filled with it? and who uses a public bathroom to trim their pubic hair? Gross.

 The delicious slice in my stomach turned green.  Fortunately, I didn't have to vomit...I informed a waiter about the sink and left disgusted.  Not the way I wanted to leave after sitting for so long at the basketball game.  but it made me wonder what other shocking images have I seen? Or have my friends...I mean, it's not as extreme as what soldiers see during wars, but nevertheless, it can scar us to some degree. It's like visual food poisoning.

I just read in the New York Times how a kidnapper was released after serving forty years in prison for kidnapping and burying alive many elementary aged students. Those children who are now adults still have anxiety and nightmares. and rightly so.  Maybe the kidnappers should have experienced the same thing to see what it was like.  I don't know.  Maybe two wrongs don't make a right.

How about the time I saw one homeless guy in NYC without pants reading the paper in  station like he was commuter.  My brother and I even saw a homeless many defecating on the sidewalk as we were walking down Queens Blvd. I guess if you have to go you have to go, but why couldn't he hit up a McDonalds?

Other things that can scar you are things in restaurants like a mouse running under your table, a hair in you food, a cockroach running around.  Everyone in the place seems happy and is laughing and you are the only one appalled.

I was in a Chinese restaurant in NYC and a mouse ran under my table when I informed a waiter he asked, "Where did it go?"

"How should I know? I'm not  zookeeper." I told him as I left. What are they going to do rehabilitate him?

Also the smell of vomit even if it's your own. I was in New Orleans and mistakenly ate white clam pizza.  I got violently sick and vomited right next to my hotel room. Sometimes it's true when you have to go you go....

Travel can be shocking too like the time I willing ate horsemeat (terrible) in Uzbekistan or hoofs of animals for sale...I hate it in Chinese supermarket seeing many animals in very small tanks. Seems cruel too.

That's all I have for now.  No life lesson for the moment.  Please leave a comment if you have any other moments you can't forget. Have a good day and I hope it's memorable for other reasons.

Post 200: My favorite restaurant

I was thinking about what is my favorite restaurant.  I have a few that I like.  The one I like best oddly is my town diner.  It has been around for over fifty years, and for good reason.

I enjoy eating there and find it very relaxing. In particular I appreciate the fact that they know my name and the owner's daughter asks also me how my mother is. I think that in itself is a reason to go back. 

Also, the manager who is Latino always ask me how I am in Spanish and we seem to know every waiter and bus boy.  It  helps that my mother used to teach ESL in town and many of the local help were her students. I think we get preferential treatment as a result. My mother likes it too and often uses the Yiddish term "Haimish" to describe it. loosely translated it means family.  Another plus is that you can park nearby and for my mother who is handicapped that helps. The diner is also a short walk from a small park and over the summer when they have concerts you can eat dinner and then walk over to see the show.

The food at the diner is very fresh and is consistently good too.  Someone once said that if there are large chunks of vegetables in the soup then it's probably homemade. It irks me when I drove by a local pizza parlor who claimed that their soups are homemade and then I saw large containers of Progresso soup in front of the place.  You feel so ripped off.  My friend at work informed me that if the restaurant changes even one ingredient it's still considered homemade. What a joke. 

Speaking of soup. If you know anything about me is that I am bit of soup snob.  I consider myself having high standards. If my brother gives me soup for dinner he will give me a little more than a spoonful. Then he will expectantly wait for my reaction. More often than not I will give a dissatisfied no and he will shake his head, because he knows I'm a bit picky. 

The funny thing is I always like the diner's soup it's consistently good. Especially their matzah ball soup which always tastes  of dill. Although I think they are cutting back because there used to be a lot more chicken.  What I like I about it is that it reminds me of the chicken soup my mother used to make.  She would say she was "cooking with love" and that is how I think food should be.

When I take out food or eat there I generally order the same thing. Spinach pie and a Greek Salad. It comes with soup (Which I like) and iced coffee.  It's not every day I eat a salad so feel like I am eating healthy and the busboys are constantly refilling our coffee cups, and almost always you never have to ask for a refill.  When I am having lunch there it always feels like I am on vacation and when I really do take a day off from work and have lunch there or take out it always relaxes me.

If we go there for dinner which happens on occasion, we usually salmon and sweet potato, and I always leave room for dessert. In particular I like their rice pudding which according to the owner's daughter is her grandmother's recipe.  Imagine a sundae glass filled with creamy white pudding and a large amount of whipped cream. You really have to split it, and why wouldn't you because it tastes so good.

One downside of a successful diner is that they get very busy and noisy. Fortunately because of of COVID they added a lot more outdoor dining. So you get some sun, fresh air, and good food.  Although it does get a bit noisy too from some of the car traffic. For me it's worth it.

Last week I went to the diner to take out my usual Greek fare, and the owner asked me if I wanted to join the rewards program which I did and then informed me that they have to raise prices for credit card transactions which they never did before, which makes sense because of supply chain issues and inflation, but in my book it's worth it because as they say in the credit card commercials when you have a great experience like lunch at my local diner, it's truly priceless.

Photo by shawnanggg on Unsplash

Post 199: My first computer

 

It was 1981 and I was a freshman in high school.  More than anything I wanted a computer. Not just any computer but an Apple 2+. Nowadays it seems like everyone has a smartphone and/or a laptop/desktop, but back then having your own computer was less common especially if you were my age.

The problem was that the computer I was interested in cost $1000 which was a lot of money today and even more so back then especially for someone 14 years old. What did you get for $1000? Not much by today's standards.  It only bought you a computer. No monitor, no printer, no modem, not even a hard drive.  It only came with a disc drive.  A light on the disc drive  turned red and whirred when you put the floppy disc (software) inside to load.

One cool feature though was that you could hook the computer up to with an r/f modulator up to any television.  Fortunately we had an extra 27 inch color TV and I was able to play games and communicate on a large screen. That would probably be a good feature today, but I have a feeling the companies want to make extra money, or maybe are just being efficient.

One other fond memory I have is that my childhood friend Bruce, who now runs a tool company, helped me install and negotiate my first modem.  I remember the sound the computer used to make when connecting to a billboard. It was like the early AOL/fax machine connections.  The problem was that at first the modem didn't work. Back then you could open up the computer and install the parts. Not so easy today.  My friend Bruce called up the local computer store owner to complain that the modem wasn't working. The conversation went something like this.

"Mr. Yoon, the modem isn't working"

Mr. Yoon would reply, "It is working."

"No, Yoon, it's broken." Bruce replied adamantly.

This went back and forth until finally Mr. Yoon relented and replaced the modem.  Whatever happened to the customer always being right?  To this day when things go wrong in life we refer to it as "Modem dead."

There were also some issues too with certain websites.  Back in the early 80's It was like the wild wild west.  There were no censors or software to protect children and some people we encountered probably were predators. Fortunately though nothing bad happened.

There were many also happy memories. I remember fondly being in a computer store in White Plains, New York playing a text adventure game called Zork.  What I liked about that game was that you could problem solve and have an escape for several hours. It not like computers today with all the graphics you had to use your imagination.  Over time new games came out.  My friends and I used to joke when a dirty text adventure was released that we all had to play.

One of favorite games was Castle Wolfenstein.  It was a program that the user got to kill Nazi's.  It was a fun game, but every once in a while I got scared because you would hear German words from one of the people in the game.  

Over the years the computer games have become more and more advanced and the graphics more realistic, and I'm not even talking about using VR goggles. I can only imagine what that's like. A true another world.

Many years later, when I was living in my own apartment, my mother called to inform me that there was a flood in the basement and my computer was  damaged.  She told me that she threw it out. I was very upset, because of all the fond memories the computer had given me and it was also my first introduction to computers.   In addition, I found out that a working apple computer was worth several thousand dollars if I was so inclined to sell it. What a loss.

Fortunately I still have all the software in my closet and most importantly the memories I have using that computer.  It was my first computer, and like many things in life. You always remember your first.

 

Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash

Post 150: On our way

 

On Our Way

We’re on our way,

To make the peace,

To right the wrong,

To set people free.

We’ve sent the troops,

We’ve packed their bags,

We gave them kisses,

And well wishes,

And saluted the flag.

We had a last meal of cereal, and lost moments,

Holding hands our thoughts like chains unbroken,

The time seemed so holy.

I checked my uniform for dust and wrinkles,

I checked my cap for starch and crinkles.

I hugged my wife, and kissed my child,

I said goodbye,

Hopefully for a very short while.

The plane departed,

The men were glum,

A patriotic song began,

But no one sung.

Outside the window the landscape disappeared,

And later the endless water was all I could see.

Then we touched down on the hundred-degree ground,

But my thoughts were in America, so far away right now.

The mission is peace in the Middle East,

The goal is something I know is very hard,

But I am an American soldier, 

Proud of my country, my flag, and my God.

Art from the Heart · Poem 7: On our way

Post 142: Assumptions (Or why you shouldn't wear a hoodie to the bank)

I feel like this could be a question someone might might ask in a Podcast. 

I mean how many times has this happened to you or someone you know?  I'm not sure if it a micro aggression, flattery, or downright prejudice.  For example, today I needed to get to my accountant in Queens, and I had to get some quarters for the meter. However, my usual bank and the bank across the street either were operating too slow, or "Just out of them" So, I went to a bank I had never been to before in my blue hoodie and sweatpants. Bad idea.

I don't think I looked terrible. I shaved this morning and my mask was clean. I know they say that clothes make the man, but do certain outfits lead to questions? Or even assumptions?

I spoke to a teller at the third bank and mentioned that it was hard to get quarters because there was a coin shortage.

The woman looked at me and said, "We don't usually give out change to people who aren't customers."

I looked back at her and replied with indignation, "How do you know that I'm not a customer? Or a potential customer?

She looked at me, nodded, and then said that I was right.

I thanked her and left, but part of me fantasized about showing how wealthy I am (not in real life) and saying I won't be a client of her bank. (As if I had a lot of money) Was it chutzpah on her part, prejudice, or microaggression. I really don't know. Maybe I'm imagining things. At least I got my quarters, but it got me thinking if others have experienced the same thing.

After my time at the bank and accountant I went next door for some Polish food. Now, I have some Polish and Russian ancestry however I don't speak very much of either language, but inevitably before I buy anything the woman behind the counter always greets me in Polish. I think she assumes that I could be Polish. At least she was friendly to me.

Based on how I look I guess I could be.  This experience doesn't bother me that much and I find it somewhat funny. It's also happened to my friends before. My friends Dave and Nathan and Mike were perceived to be Greek and spoken to in the language as well.

Getting back to clothes. I've heard that airlines and restaurants sometimes treat people who are wearing suits differently than people dressed in regular clothes. Maybe there is an assumption that the person is successful, or even a better tipper. Even my friend Steve said that when he went to a bar in upstate New York women gave him a lot more attention because the town he went to was in an economic depression and he was seen as "A good catch."

Someone once told me also that violinists and other musicians are sometimes  tested while playing behind screens, because management doesn't want to judge them by looks alone, but rather by talent, or how baseball scouts thought that some players were better if their bodies were more typical of some stereotypical body of perfection in their eyes. Something out of Plato's golden ratio, I suppose.

I've also heard that you should smile (If you can) in drivers license photos because you are less likely to get a ticket if the officer thinks you are a nice person...and that people who wear glasses at job interviews are perceived as smarter. These seem to be helpful assumptions but really they speak to the same problem, not just the halo principal.

What disturbs me is how quickly one incorrect perception without all the information could be incorrect and sometimes even deadly.

I think it was Steven Covey who said, "First seek to understand and then to be understood."

For example, I remember one time I was at a gas station on Long Island and someone started to honk me as I was preparing to drive off. I got angry at the honking thinking the person was trying to hurry/harass me but when I rolled down my window the other driver replied, "Your gas cap is off." Here it was I was ready to start a beef with him when he was really just trying to help. 

In the end, I feel we shouldn't make judgements about others unless we truly learn more about the person, because underneath all the clothes (Even hoodies and sweats) we are all the same. Human. I just wish everyone including banks felt the same.  Maybe the next time I fly or go back to the bank in a suit to see what they will say. Who knows, there might even be change. Literally.

 

Thanks to Usman Yousaf for allowing us to use the photo you took photo for the blog from Unsplash

Post 198: Is it worth the wait?

 I once heard that we spend several years of our lives waiting in line, and I wonder if it truly worth it.  Think about how many times we wait for things: We wait at the post office, the doctors office, the bank, car repair, and department of motor vehicles for our turn. We wait for the results of the SAT's, to get a COVID vaccine, health test results, news of an expectant mother, someone's health at the hospital. We wait for a store to open, a check to clear, our IRS refund, and almost always the train or bus to arrive.

Yesterday was tax day for me. I went to the bank and to my accountant.  I went when the bank first opened and some people were griping that there was only one person handling the growing line. The truth is we have minor inconveniences and some people around the world and in our country are facing life or death such as war and starvation.

After my wait at the bank, I went to Queens to visit my accountant. He is a great guy but had an accident last year so I was unable to see him then, but he still did my return.    This time I had to wait an hour and a half before he was available.  But I suppose the statement "Good things come to those who wait."  because I ended up getting some money back and was also able to do my mother's return.

We often wait for pleasant things too: To see a movie, a concert, a Broadway show, our favorite restaurant. A package to arrive, a date who is getting ready, etc.

Sometimes things are worth the wait, other times the wait seems too long, but remember we can make the unpleasant experience more pleasant.  Think about Tom Sawyer who turned white washing of a fence into an opportunity for some fun. Next time you are waiting you could be reading a book, a magazine, or watching a video you like.  I remember years ago I was waiting at the Flushing Town hall for free Shakespeare tickets in Central Park.

Usually I would get their at 6 or 7 am to wait bring chairs because they don't give out tickets till 1 pm.  The deal was I would get their early with chairs and my brother who likes to sleep late who arrive around 10ish with breakfast.  Someone asked me what time I got there and when I said six he replied that I was "Hardcore."  I viewed waiting in line as fun.  I could read the play or most of it, talk to people, and you never know what could happen.  I remember a strange man came up to me once and asked,

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

I paused and then replied without missing a beat, "Practice, practice, practice."

 I figured when was the next time I was going to be able to say that joke.  The man seemed irate and stormed off.  Fortunately nothing happened to me.  I got the tickets a few hours later that night saw a wonderful show.  I have seen several. The point is that if I never waited I would never have been able to see so much great theater for free.

Life Lesson 197: I've heard it been said that a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; while the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.  It is my hope that the next time you are waiting in line rather than see it as a challenge or burden to bare that you see it as time to make the most of things.  Let's face it our time is precious use it wisely, keep a positive attitude, and most importantly don't forget to bring your book.

Post 181: Hey Governor Desantis, Fauci you!

Its interesting six months ago I was pleased that Florida's Governor Ron DeSantis despite being a bully and Trump loyalist, did such a great job inoculating senior citizens against COVID, and my 88 year old mother was able to get a shot quite quickly.

Now however Florida, like many places in the world, is being overrun by the Delta variant.  Hospital emergency wards are at capacity even children's hospitals and DeSantis is still so defiant to address this grave problem (no pun intended)

He has tried to pass laws to prevent mask mandates even as the daily COVID rate is at its highest level yet, and hospital emergency wards are at capacity. Even children's hospitals. He has sued the CDC to prevent it having cruise ships  require passengers to show they are immunized, and is totally against COVID vaccination passports. Worst of all, he mocked Dr. Anthony Fauci on his own official website.  Something along the lines of "Don't Fauci Florida." Which to me is very short sighted.

Instead of mocking Dr. Fauci and getting his advice to help the people of Florida, he is putting roadblocks as President Biden suggested and people are ending up being hospitalized and dying as a result.

Governor DeSantis don't let your political aspirations become more important than respirations.  Your people are dying of lack of oxygen.  And while masks can make it harder to talk or hear what people are saying a little difficulty breathing pales in comparison to a complete loss of breath.

So, in conclusion, remember that a good leader truly listens to his people, different points of view, and most importantly science.  Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can.  Now is the time to act.  You don't need to be in the middle of a hurricane to know that one is coming.  Act now! 

The people of America are waiting and watching.