I just posted in the featured post area (Hoodie) about assumptions. I think it happened to me again last night. I was out for dinner in Westchester, New York with a male friend whose wife was away in Vermont. We went to a nice Italian restaurant and had a seemingly good meal. Unfortunately later in the night after I had came home I became violently ill and made the bathroom sink look like a Salvatore Dali painting....Sorry Imelda (Our cleaning lady) She just cleaned it a few hours earlier. One of my family members heard me vomiting and wanted to know if I was ok. Which I was for the most part. I just didn't sleep well.
And to think I didn't go to a friend's party. Perhaps that would have been better, and less drama. Anyway, back to gaydar, I don't know if this has ever happened to you that you go out for a meal with a same sex friend and it seems that you are being perceived as gay and treated worse than if you are heterosexual. It took forever for our waiter to take our order. Maybe it was because it was a Saturday night and the restaurant was quite busy. I don't know. I just feel that discrimination in any shape or form is wrong.
Unfortunately this was not the first time this has happened. My friend Pete and I once went to Jackson Hole diner in Bayside and struck up a nice conversation with a blond-headed waitress. My friend sometimes is a little too effusive with praise, somewhere along the lines of "You are beautiful...etc." He even gave her his card when he found out she wanted to be a teacher to see if he could help her in her career path. That turned out to be a mistake.
Apparently, she told one of my co-workers, Big John, that "Two gay teachers" came into the diner.
"What did they look like?" John asked.
"One had spikey hair and the other one was bald."
That created a great deal of laughter in our office, and anger from Pete and I.
"Bald!" I said to one of my friend, "I may be balding but I am not bald."
So that became the running joke that I was upset that I was perceived as bald, but didn't mind being called gay. The truth is I am confident about my sexuality, but bald seems over the line.
There seems to be too many double standards in life. An young male dates an older woman is perceived as fantasy for some but an older male with a young woman might be seen as a dirty old man.
A woman sleeps with a lot of guys and might be thought of as a slut or other bad word but a man who does the same thing is a gigolo, a player, a boss, but really they are doing the same thing. It's all how society looks at males and females.
A man kisses another guy and he is gay, but a woman who does the same thing with another woman is "experimenting" or "hot" double standard.
A man ages he is getting more mature or distinguished but a woman who gets older is just getting older. Double standard.
Life Lesson: I really don't know the answer to this all I can say is that society should treat men and women with equality and that we should be free to be ourselves, not prejudged, treated with courtesy, and that it is not what you have on your head, but what you have in your head that makes all the difference.
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