Well I have made it to my 130th story...some I have deleted because I thought they were not my best, but this one is one for the books.
It's been two years since I was in Florida to visit my mother...I always had some excuses, but this year I made the choice to do something nice for my my mother and for myself. I would like to say that I spent a lot of time in South Beach checking out the women, but the truth is that when you go on vacation with your mother and sister, and spend time staying at at senior retirement communities like century village, that is often just a pipe dream, and just getting to any beach is a miracle.
The trip did teach me many things though. Where to start? I learned that it's preferable to travel during the week. I went Sunday to Friday. New York To Ft. Lauderdale, but in retrospect I think Tuesday through Tuesday might have been better. Less people at the airport to contend with. I've also heard that buying a ticket on a Tuesday may give you better airplane rates.
Sitting in the exit row was a good choice considering how much space I had, but I wonder how I would do in the event of an emergency. Perhaps more room would be just as good without the work. Also, I think next time I might fly to West Palm airport instead of Fort Lauderdale International because even though their are less flights the airport is smaller and possibly easier to navigate.
My sister made a good choice too. She took a morning flight. I think that is a great idea, because if your flight is delayed you still won't be getting to your destination too late at night. It's probably also safer to fly during the day I think.
I had to drink my water bottle when I got on the customs line, but I was surprised to learn that if your water bottle is frozen you can bring it in. I wondered if it was half frozen would that still count.
Jet Blue is a good airline, but I still think that their TV availability is mainly just to show us advertisements. I think for the future I will try to bring an Ipad or laptop so I don't have to watch their ads.
The flight down was uneventful, but when I landed at the airport there was a long line to get to Enterprise rent a car. So, after waiting a while I got a cab to take me there. What I should have done was negotiated because he charged me twenty dollars to basically go a short distance. On the positive side I didn't have to wait in a crowded bus.
Enterprise was pretty efficient but in retrospect I should have gotten my car in Boca Raton, because the rates are much more expensive at the airport. I had asked for a Camry but they ended up giving me a sports car. Which turned out better. I should have asked for a white car though, because it was pretty hot in Florida.
I am getting used to the sports car. It drives very well. I think I need it, because Florida has a reputation for terrible drivers especially Miami. In the TV show Dexter the main character always talks about how crazy Miami drivers are. I didn't get down to Miami this time, but I can attest that there are lot of fast drivers, and many times I almost got hit. It didn't help that 95 is under construction the road is uneven and challenging.
I chose an evening flight to Ft. Lauderdale from New York. Bad idea. I had never flown by myself to that airport let alone rented a car there. To make matters worse the attendant at Enterprise rent a car didn't really explain all the features of the car. I have a ten year old car without the latest gadgetry so the learning curve was slow.
I also didn't know how to adjust mirrors or lights, and made the mistake of syncing my GPS to the nav system. Basically I was driving at night without a GPS for the first time without mirrors or lights. Welcome to Florida driving. Eventually though I figured things out, and disconnected my GPS from the car's. I got to Boca Raton around 8:00 or so. Luckily things are pretty quiet over there, and I arrived without incident.
The trip was pretty good overall. I got to experience a few 80+ weather days, went to a few beaches, spent time with my family, and enjoyed some nice meals including: Andrew Weil's newest one which was healthy and great, and outdoor dinner at Meisner Park with my friend and cousin Yael, and her husband Sam.
Earlier in the day I was at Century Village a retirement community where my mother lives, and picked up tickets for a broadway-time Phantom of the Opera musical concert in the clubhouse. I also bought my friend guest passes so they could come to the event. I didn't realize how crazy the rules are at retirement communities like Century Village. When I say crazy I mean ridiculous rules. They are paranoid about everything and everyone.
After dinner at Meisner and a brief tour of Yael's new condo, we went directly back to my mom's development and to the club house. We wanted to get there early because they have a rule (one of many) that if you are there later than 15 minutes they won't let you in at all, and I thought things were tough at the Met.
When my sister and I arrived (mom was already inside) Yael and Sam were deeply upset.
"What happened?" I asked.
"They wouldn't let me in because I was wearing shorts." He replied.
I couldn't believe it. I wasn't surprised, but I still could not believe it, because at the box office there was no sign about shorts. It turned out there was a notification on the pillar when you walk into the complex, but if you pass it you will miss it.
I said, "Lets go upstairs and see what happens."
No sooner did we start to walk upstairs, but the women at the box office, who was how do I say it zaftig aka (very plump) runs up the other stairs to catch like a very angry hippo. Hippos are one of the most dangerous animals in the wild, and in Florida too.
"You can't come in with shorts!" she roared.
I was standing next to my sister and my friends, and tried to explain that "There was no sign at the ticket booth."
She replied that there was one at the entrance and on the ticket. I looked at the ticket and it was basically in point two type and cut off. I pointed it out to the women but she and the African American security guard weren't having it at all.
Next I looked at my friends. They almost seemed to be laughing at my consternation.
"What about a shirt?" Sam asked, "Can I go in without a shirt but with pants?" and with that he began to lift up his shirt.
I was shocked and the women were aghast.
Then he continued. "How about no pants at all?" and with that began unbuttoning his shorts.
"Sam," I said. "I don't want you to get arrested." and with that he laughed and he and Yael left the clubhouse never to return. I turned and went into the theater at approximately 8:10 as it was when I entered "late" one of the ushers glared at my sister and I, unaware of what happened outside.
We watched a performance of Phantom of the Opera which my mother throughly enjoyed, but inside I was still seething.
Next day after I called Yael to apologize for the incident she just laughed and said, "Cuz, it's always a story with us." and quite frankly I had to agree.
The next day just when I thought things were over my mother turned to me over lunch and said, "Just wanted to let you know I bought three tickets for another show for tonight if you want to go." I looked at my sister and replied, "Thank you, but once is enough."
Life Lesson 130: It's often been said that, "When in Rome do as the Romans do," but when it comes to Floridians, especially in senior developments like Century Village, I think the better expression is "Dress as the Romans do," but I bet even if togas were in style today it would still never be long enough, even if their teeth are.
