Post 126 The virtual thank you

Why do some people always want to correct our behavior? or does it just feel that way.  The other day I went into Starbucks and ordered a drink.  I'm pretty sure I said "Thank  you." but the barista said "Thank you." to me.   I got annoyed and wondered is he prompting me to say thank you to him?  Is he trying to correct my behavior?  or am I just being paranoid.

As a teacher so often it seems that half of what I do is correcting student behavior.   I frequently tell them to put down a phone, or wake up, or be more kind/respectful to others.  Some students get it, while others just keep repeating their behavior again and again. It's very frustrating.  It's like the quote, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again in the same way and expecting different results."  or as I like to say "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." I think that applies to the kids, how I respond to them, and probably life in general.

How often do we go out of way to be courteous to others, and we hope they reciprocate, or at least acknowledge our efforts. Like when we hold a door for someone, or as Jerry Seinfeld talks about "Getting a thank you wave from another driver after letting them into our lane."

Things aren't always quid pro quo or even just fair and equitable.  It would be nice though if they were.  The problem is that unfortunately people may not have been raised to be respectful to others.  Sometimes behavior is just cultural.  Like tipping.  In India I have heard people frequently don't tip their waiters.  So, when some people from that country come to America they may not realize tipping is expected.

I like the book Waiter Rant  where the author talks about someone who is a "verbal tipper." My mother does this sometimes.  She will sing the praises of the waiter, and then want to give them a 10% tip.  I have to tell her how actions speak louder than words, and that restaurants especially the ones we frequent often, we need to tell the waiter how much we appreciate them in more than just words.

I don't know if people can change or not. Really the onus is on them.  It's hard enough to change ourselves let alone someone else.

I probably should be more like Albert Ellis, the famous psychologist who wrote about USA and UAO.  Basically,  unconditional self acceptance and unconditional acceptance of others.  Those are lofty goals, but worthwhile. If we can learn to accept ourselves and others even with our/their faults we could become less anxious/upset in general.  Instead of being perfectionistic, we could strive to become less disturbable in general.  

Life Lesson 126: Until that time we should keep our eyes and ears open to showing our appreciation to others, and in case I forgot anyone including that barista in Little Neck, New York, here is my best version of thank you to the world.

Thank you very much-English
Todah-Hebrew
Shukran-Arabic
Gracias-Spanish
Grace-Italian
Danke-German
Merci-French/Afghani
Tashakor-Afghani
Salamapo-Tagalog
Asante-Swahili
Domo Arigato-Japanese
Kamsahanidah-Korean
Sheshe-Chinese
Umgoy-Chinese
Gedant-Dutch
Chique-Polish
Rachmat-Uzbkek (thank you from my heart)
Spasibah-Russian
Tashakeleh-Turkish

And thank you all for listening