Story 119: That's how I roll

Relationships
My friend Barry was a high school teacher and coach and had a lot of interesting stories, and always had a great sense of humor that's probably what women find appealing. He used to put on his dating profile something along the following:

"55 year old man.  If  you look at my profile I'm a 5, but with my pension I'm a 7 and with my TDA (Tax Deferred Annuity) I'm a 10."

On one occasion he started to date a woman from the neighborhood. They went on a couple of dates and things seemed to be going well.  After a few drinks they went to her bedroom, started to fool around, and then she stated, "Time to let Tiny out."

Barry knew what she meant, but replied with a joke, "How do you know I'm so tiny?"

She laughed and then answered, "No, I was talking about the cat."


DRUGS
Barry also used to smoke a lot of marijuana.  One day he went with a colleague to buy some weed.  His "friend" got out of the car to score some drugs when Barry realized to his surprise that the dealer was his student.  After that Barry never tried to buy with that staff member.  The teacher who wanted to purchase drugs eventually got fired for improper relations with a student and then arrested again for stealing from a store.

After Barry retired from teaching things got worse.  He started smoking every day, and wasn't doing much with his life.  

One day Barry decided that he didn't want to live that way anymore, and starting attending the support group Marijuana Anonymous.  It changed his life.  Not only did he stop smoking weed, but they liked him so much that they flew him to California to be a speaker at their national convention.  Ultimately, Barry would take charge of his life and start appreciating it more.  He would go on to have more positive relationships, help with coaching, and also drive veterans to the doctors office for free.

When one of the veterans tried to tip him he replied, "No thank you, you've given enough already."

That's How I Roll
Things weren't always rosy for Barry.  His judgement sometimes wasn't great.  In the 1970's there were a lot of killings in New York by a serial killer called the "Son of Sam."  (David Berkowitz)  One night Barry was hanging out in Queens by the Clearview Expressway when he saw several police cars.  It was a hot night and Barry was dressed in shorts and a tight white tank top. For some reason  when Barry saw the squad cars canvassing the area he decided to start running.

The police noticed immediately that a suspicious person was running and began their pursuit.  They caught up and questioned him.  They thought he might be the Son of Sam killer, but he had alibis and was soon released.

I asked him, "Why did you run? You know that's pretty suspicious."

He agreed and replied that he really didn't have a good reason to start running.  It wasn't like he had drugs on him just anxiety about the police.  

Life Lesson 119: Happiness can't found in a blunt, because ultimately that high fades, but when we do acts of kindness like help others that intrinsic motivation lasts long after the good deed is over.

Also, laughter shared with others can bring us together, and turn a potentially awkward experience into a positive one that we remember forever, and that's no small feat.