Story 121: Homeless in NYC…..

Why is it that every time I go into NYC it's always an adventure, and in some small part it usually involves someone homeless.  You can't go on subway, or walk around Penn station or the Port Authority without being accosted or shocked by what you see sometimes.  New Yorkers are pretty jaded, but even we roll our eyes sometimes.

I don't like seeing homeless children or families it hurts to see them down on their luck, but too often it's usually one strange guy or woman begging for money especially around the holidays.  There's the all too familiar subway chant, "Attention ladies and gentlemen,  I am not a thief, I just want something to eat."

Sometimes we give them money and sometimes not.  You look at them and make the evaluation.  Will my money be going to help them buy drugs?  It's hard to know.  There was a time when the homeless would sell Street News.  I don't know if that is a paper that's still being sold, but at least it's step in the right direction.

Most recently I went to the city around Christmas time, and there were a lot of homeless people begging on the subway.  I think because of the holiday spirit people tend to be more generous.
However, we all have our limits. Especially if they are too aggressive, and sometimes just plain bizarre.  Here is one example.

I was going to the Govensport hotel for a singles event and took the number two train downtown.  It's express and fortunately wasn't too crowded.  I didn't see one homeless person at all.
However when I got to the station it was another matter.

I started walking to the exit which was a metal turnstile when I noticed something odd.  On the other side of the turnstile there was a African American man presumably homeless casually reading the paper like he was on the beach.  What was strange was that he was wearing a t shirt, but nothing else.

As soon as I spotted him I turned around and started heading for the other exit.  I noticed another commuter heading for the exit, however I said nothing.  Then I heard an outcry.

"Oh, my god. Oh my god."

The commuter had gone through the turnstile and ran into the bottomless man who was partially blocking the stairs, but because he had already exited the turnstile couldn't go back the way he came, and had to go around the man.  I could only imagine his horror, but  still I laughed a bit about the exchange and was glad it wasn't me who was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Why is it also that homeless people often seem to use the street as their bathroom? Another time I was on Queens Blvd. in Rego Park, and witnessed another shocking scene.

I was driving with my brother past the Queens Center Mall, and watched a yuppie man talking on his cell phone and walking towards us. In the opposite direction another man, homeless, is walking the other way.  In one second I see the homeless man pull down his own pants and starts defecating on the sidewalk.  I notice the well dressed man who at first sees nothing and then notices the homeless man and his face goes from laughing on the phone to one of horror as he knows he has to walk around the man relieving himself.  My brother and I were horrified than laughed about it too.

My brother in law told me another crazy story about the time his brother Robert was walking up the stairs of his building in Chicago is ,and saw another homeless person on the landing defecating.

"Can I help you?" Robert asked the man.

"Yes," the man replied. "can  you get me some toilet paper?"

Robert was stunned, and instead simply called the super.

Life Lesson 121:I think every New Yorker probably has a homeless person story, but the real question why do we have so many homeless?, and what can we do to help them?  I blame the fact that the city had a lot of SRO's (single room occupancy apartments) and got rid of them, and probably reduced mental health treatment as well.  It is my hope that someday we can make NYC a place where all people can afford to live not just the super rich, and more services for the other forgotten Americans, the homeless.  If they ever get the chance to vote along with a place to live, who knows maybe the election and future could have gone differently.

Story 120: High School and College Success Stories

As a High School teacher and college professor I've had many opportunities to make an impact on my students. Here are a few examples.

MATT
Several years ago I ran into a former student named Matt standing in front of the high school that I work in.

"Hey Matt," I said.  "how are you?"

Matt looked a bit dejected and replied, "OK."

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well," He said." nothing really, it's just that I'm not going to my classes. I'm not doing my homework. I just don't feel like doing anything."

I looked at him for a minute and then I replied, "Have you been smoking weed?"

He looked at me for a moment and then answered with surprise, "Yes, how did you know?"

I went on to tell him about how it takes one month for marijuana to come out of a person's body, and that smoking weed could often lead to a condition called Amotivational Syndrome.  The fact that some people who smoke can alter their motivation levels to do things.

Matt appreciated my comments and told me so.  I didn't think much about him, but then I saw him again the next semester.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Great," he replied.  "I just wanted to tell you that I started going to my classes, working out, and most importantly I quit smoking up."

He informed me another time that I was his favorite teacher, and I subsequently and enthusiastically wrote him a letter of recommendation.  Ultimately he graduated and went to college.  I really felt that like my friend Barry that I could make a difference in someone's life.

Debra
Another one students was named Debra.  My High School class was busy doing an assignment to see if they could create a behavior for the new year in the span of three weeks.  It was loosely based on Pavlov's research, or at least so I believed.

Debra was a bit overweight and one day asked me as part of the assignment,

"Mr. Levine, how do I lose weight?"

I replied, "Debra, instead of trying to lose weight think about trying to add things to your life."

"Like what?" She asked.

"Like, one month adding more water, more exercise, weight train, etc." I answered.

A year and a half later she came back to visit from George Washington University and stopped in my class.  Debra had lost 45 pounds in that time. She looked great.

"I just wanted to thank you," she said. "I took your advice and I joined the college gym, and every month I added something new.  Over one and a half years I made many little life changes, and feel so much better as a result."

Simply said that when we add healthy behaviors we can crowd out the bad ones.  It's just important to remember that "A jack of all trades is the master of none." and that we shouldn't try to change too many things at one time.  Considering the new year is upon us it's clear that while we can change things in our lives its probably best to focus on the few and build on that success. As Debra certainly proved.

Nancy
My student Nancy was an anorexic at age fourteen, but after being hospitalized she began to put her energy into her studies.  Nancy eventually became our school's valedictorian.  Not only that, but she also created an organization to create teddy bears to give to children with eating disorders and other problems to help them cope while they were in a shelter or hospital.

I wish I could say that it was because of me that she became so successful, but it was all her and the hard work and dedication of her friends.  She did come back one year to visit and we did a bear workshop with one of my classes.  I even tried to make a bear, but I can't say it was that cute.  It basically looked a cyclops.  Nancy had pity on me and helped make it more acceptable.

One other memory I have about Nancy was that she passed out in class once.  We were watching the film The Truth About Sex and I noticed that she looked a bit pale.  I probably should have intervened earlier but I wasn't sure if she was sick or not.  Eventually she passed out and bumped her head.  I called the nurse and helped her till the nurse arrived.  It's not every day the valedictorian passes out in your class.  She overcame that too, and went on to have a full scholarship to an ivy league college, and continues making bears for the needy and the ill.

Other successes
I've been teaching for twenty years and sometimes it's hard to remember the lives I've touched.  I did three years of counseling before I became a teacher.    I've helped students create behaviors to drink more water and eat more fruit.  I've written many recommendation letters that enabled students to get into college including full scholarships at a few CUNY's.  Some days I feel like a farmer who doesn't know if the seeds I've planted will bloom or not.

I've also run school-wide activities for quitting smoking, and helped coordinate five health fairs.  

At the college I made several students more aware of their bodies. We have watched videos about testicular cancer which led a few of my students to do self exams and ultimately find lumps and prevent other health problems as well.  

On another occasion I gave students the opportunity to get STD testing for extra credit, and on at least one occasion a woman found out they were positive for chlamydia.   A curable STD, but one which can lead to infertility.  She ultimately had it cured, and was very appreciative because like many women she had no symptoms.

I've also brought many guest speakers to discuss many social issues like homophobia, transphobia, and rape and sexual assault.  I bring in speakers not only to educate students, but also to give them resources for help.  

Life Lesson 120: Sometimes teaching can be a job that often goes unnoticed or unappreciated and we don't know if they are listening or not, but every once in while you have the chance to make a difference, and that makes the job truly special, because you realize what the good book says, "He who saves one life it's as if they've saved the world."  

Story 119: That's how I roll

Relationships
My friend Barry was a high school teacher and coach and had a lot of interesting stories, and always had a great sense of humor that's probably what women find appealing. He used to put on his dating profile something along the following:

"55 year old man.  If  you look at my profile I'm a 5, but with my pension I'm a 7 and with my TDA (Tax Deferred Annuity) I'm a 10."

On one occasion he started to date a woman from the neighborhood. They went on a couple of dates and things seemed to be going well.  After a few drinks they went to her bedroom, started to fool around, and then she stated, "Time to let Tiny out."

Barry knew what she meant, but replied with a joke, "How do you know I'm so tiny?"

She laughed and then answered, "No, I was talking about the cat."


DRUGS
Barry also used to smoke a lot of marijuana.  One day he went with a colleague to buy some weed.  His "friend" got out of the car to score some drugs when Barry realized to his surprise that the dealer was his student.  After that Barry never tried to buy with that staff member.  The teacher who wanted to purchase drugs eventually got fired for improper relations with a student and then arrested again for stealing from a store.

After Barry retired from teaching things got worse.  He started smoking every day, and wasn't doing much with his life.  

One day Barry decided that he didn't want to live that way anymore, and starting attending the support group Marijuana Anonymous.  It changed his life.  Not only did he stop smoking weed, but they liked him so much that they flew him to California to be a speaker at their national convention.  Ultimately, Barry would take charge of his life and start appreciating it more.  He would go on to have more positive relationships, help with coaching, and also drive veterans to the doctors office for free.

When one of the veterans tried to tip him he replied, "No thank you, you've given enough already."

That's How I Roll
Things weren't always rosy for Barry.  His judgement sometimes wasn't great.  In the 1970's there were a lot of killings in New York by a serial killer called the "Son of Sam."  (David Berkowitz)  One night Barry was hanging out in Queens by the Clearview Expressway when he saw several police cars.  It was a hot night and Barry was dressed in shorts and a tight white tank top. For some reason  when Barry saw the squad cars canvassing the area he decided to start running.

The police noticed immediately that a suspicious person was running and began their pursuit.  They caught up and questioned him.  They thought he might be the Son of Sam killer, but he had alibis and was soon released.

I asked him, "Why did you run? You know that's pretty suspicious."

He agreed and replied that he really didn't have a good reason to start running.  It wasn't like he had drugs on him just anxiety about the police.  

Life Lesson 119: Happiness can't found in a blunt, because ultimately that high fades, but when we do acts of kindness like help others that intrinsic motivation lasts long after the good deed is over.

Also, laughter shared with others can bring us together, and turn a potentially awkward experience into a positive one that we remember forever, and that's no small feat.

Story 118: My favorite mentor

I am a high school teacher and college professor, and have mentored many students and teachers over the years. I have had many mentors too, but my best one and favorite was my first one my father M.

M. grew up in the Bronx and was very smart. He went Bronx High School of Science, NYU, and Brooklyn Law School. Although he never practiced, but instead worked for the city.

He stood 6 foot tall was bald and had a small pot belly. Probably from eating his favorite dessert black and white cookies. Interesting fact was that he once came in fourth place in an a Ed Koch look alike contest.

My father taught  me many things but the most valuable one was probably the importance of doing good deeds and helping.  That's probably why his four children all work in the helping professions in medicine, psychology, and in my case teaching.

He was the type of guy who if someone needed help he was always there. If you needed someone to babysit last minute he would be right over.  Need help waiting for the cable guy all day? No problem.  As long as he had his book he was ready to help. Also,  after he retired from working for the city, he spent a lot of time delivering food and money to poor Long Islanders for a charity called Hatzilu.  

M. also loved words.  He was a huge reader which has probably been my motivation to love books too.  I used to  joke that instead of a gold credit card he probably had gold library card.  Although my mother would sometimes complain, "M. Put the book down, I need your help with something important." which probably meant taking out the garbage, doing the laundry, or raking a few leaves.

Not only did M. enjoy reading but he like his mother R. loved to write too.  He wrote short stories and articles, and helped me with some of my papers during high school. However his writing almost didn't happen, because when he was in in the 5th grade M. wrote a poem about a waterfall called "The Cataract." His writing was so good that his teacher didn't believe he wrote it.  So he stopped writing for many many years.  Unfortunately I never got to read that poem.  Although I have read many of Grandmothers writings. 

From that incident I have made it a point that I never want to be that kind of teacher who crushes someones potential, but rather encourages them to be successful.

My father had a great sense of humor too, and told a terrific joke.  Something I do in the classroom sometimes too. Although they were frequently corny and sometimes dirty.  He had great timing.  My mother would often try to repeat them, but she invariably left out an important line.  

Probably the funniest thing about him was that he was funny even when he didn't intend to be.    He would do things like put parmesan cheese in his coffee by accident, and then complain that "Something's was wrong with the coffee N."

Or when he was in college doing ROTC and some old school drill sergeant yelled at my father for holding a rifle incorrectly, my father turned around and accidentally pointed the gun at the instructor.  After that my dad was on KP duty peeling potatoes.

When it raining out he would sometimes say to me a few times. "Don't forget your rubbers."  not realizing that rubbers had multiple meanings.

Driving with my father was also always an adventure as well.
My father taught me to drive but he had this habit of turning off the car if he didn't feel you were driving right.  You could be in the middle of the road and he would do it.  My fathers belief was always safety first. My brother Dan, the doctor, took three times to pass his road test.  I can't even imagine how many times my father turned off the car. 

My father was also very good at keeping his cool and solving problems when things are difficult. One time in the 1970's we were returning again from a family vacation in the Catskills and our car a ramble station wagon started to overheat.

My father pulled over to the side of the road, and looked under the hood. Billows of white smoke were coming from underneath. It reminded me of old faithful at Yellowstone National Park. M. however kept his cool unlike the car.

“Kids,” My father stated “I need you to look in the car for some water.”

So off we excitedly went  looking under every cushion nook and cranny, pennies went flying, it was like a scavenger hunt, but unfortunately we couldn’t find any water. Blame it on all the empty bags of potato chips on the floor.

“Sorry.” we said collectively.

It was then that my father had an epiphany.

“Aha!” my father yelled out as he reached into the trunk of the car.

“You found some water?” my mother asked expectantly.

“No, but I think this will work just the same.” He replied, and then triumphantly held up a full container of pure Mott’s apple juice.  He held it up with such pride you would think it was a new baby fresh from the delivery room, instead of  a plastic gallon jug from Waldbaums. 

“I think this should work.” He beamed.

And that’s what he did. After letting the engine cool a bit, he poured the juice into the radiator, and surprisingly it worked like a charm.  We made it back to Long Island, all of us smelling like apples the whole ride home.  

My father died ten years ago, and even though I can't remember all of his jokes, or probably never have half of his timing.   The moments we shared and lessons I learned will live me forever.