It's often been said that those who can't do teach, and those who can't teach anything teach gym, but what the haters fail to realize is that teachers really do something truly important, and that is make a difference. Why do people minimize teachers, especially health and physical education teachers? In a country that is having such a huge obesity epidemic, and children are dying in the suburbs from prescription drug abuse why shouldn't our students health be a priority?
It's unfortunate that teachers are not given the recognition they deserve considering how a good teacher can often make an impact in someone's life. How do you measure that? In my school system they constantly want data for academic achievement, or the number of times you called a home, or a students attendance record, because those things are quantifiable. And while these are important, the truth is that there are many things that are difficult to measure. Including: Did a student grow as a person? Did someone avoid using drugs or is practicing safe sex?
I've had students come back to tell me that I made a difference in their lives. Teachers are in a lot of ways are like farmers. We plant seeds (knowledge and good choices) and we hope that what we teach will take root and lead to great things. I am fortunate to be able to tell you that despite some regrets, I have for the most part had a lot of success over the past twenty years of teaching. It's those small wins that help teachers deal with a profession that can have a lot of stress and administrative headaches.
I've partnered with a local community college's nursing program and ran five health fairs. In addition, I've also invited many CBO's to my high school and college to educate our students and staff about different issues, and provide important resources for help.
One of my high school students named Mike had another problem. I saw him one day outside of school and asked him how life was. He told me that, "Not that good. I haven't been going to my classes or doing my homework. I just don't feel like doing anything."
I looked at him directly and then asked, "Are you smoking weed?"
He looked surprised and then replied, "How did you know?"
I then told him about amotivational syndrome. It's a condition that frequently develops from smoking marijuana that can make a person less likely to want to do something. (Life low libido I call it.) Well, a few months after we spoke I got an update. Mike started going back to his classes, started working out, quit smoking up, and ended up graduating. He told me later that I was one of his all-time favorite teachers. Teachers in America don't necessarily make a lot of money, but sometimes those successes are worth their weight in gold. It reminds of Mark Twain's comment that he could "Live a month on a good compliment."
Another girl named Danah came back to visit me from college a few years ago. She told me that she, "Lost forty-five pounds over a period of a year and half from something I taught her."
"What did I say?" I asked.
Danah replied, "You said to me that I shouldn't focus on losing weight, but instead adding things to my life. "
And that's what Danah did. Every month she would add something new. One month she added more water, then next month more exercise, and over a period of a year and a half lost 45 pounds.
I often tell my high school students that some people credit Ivan Pavlov with the idea that it takes 21 days to create a habit. I've read in several books about goals and habits that more difficult habits sometimes take longer like a month, but I suppose 21 days is a good start. That is why I do a three week behavior change plan with my high school students.
Some of my success stories include: I had a boy who always had headaches. I asked him "How much water do you drink?"
"None." He replied. After our brief talk he went from drinking no water to drinking three bottles over a period of three weeks, and his headaches, went away.
Another girl told me she didn't eat any fruit. I told her that countries that have the highest consumption of fruit have some of the lowest rates of cancer. She went from eating no fruit to eating three. and lowered her cancer risk.
I've also taught relaxation activities (such as instant relaxation and meditation) to a few students. One woman who worked at the Department of Motor Vehicles used instant relaxation to deal with difficult customers. Other students have used what I taught to relax before stressful exams.
Another girl said that she only remembered one thing that I taught her. I told her about the word "Yet." It is very powerful word. Sometimes in life we get depressed when we think about things we haven't achieved/have in our lives. This is called "Stinking thinking." I told my students that rather than negative thinking we add the word "Yet" to our thinking ex. Change "I don't have a car" to "I don't have a car yet," or "I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet." And then take proactive steps to get what we want in life.
Life Lesson 105: The best thing that we can do however is to teach and show our children love. I've taught my students that if you have good self esteem, and truly love yourself that people can't pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do.
Supposedly, it wasn't until she was forty years old that Oprah Winfrey learned how to say no. It's never too late to start. Really, we should consider that learning to say no is a skill that we can develop with practice and patience, and that when we believe in ourselves we will have the confidence to believe anything is possible. And as Napoleon Hill once quoted, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." Don't be afraid to make a difference in someone's life.
Even though I am back in New York after a week down south, my skin is still tan and I remember fondly the blue skies of Florida which contrast sharply with the tristate area's 35 degree days and overcast sky.
With my tan, I also gained close to five pounds in five days. A new record. So now, I am really ready to detox. At least in theory. So far I am doing pretty well, and getting close to my starting weight. It was worth it though. My brother and I had some great meals. There was Cuban food at Versailles in Miami, and Japanese at the Morikami Gardens near Boca Raton. A truly beautiful place for lunch. And let's not forget a bountiful Japanese buffet at Shinjo and at Sweet tomato. I rationalized that the food was healthy, but part of me felt I probably overdid it. Even if we did do a lot of walking in the Everglades. Although everyone I spoke to at home said, "Well, you were on vacation." and I have to agree with that too, and that we really enjoyed ourselves. Isn't that what vacations are all about?
In keeping with this idea, they did a study in Finland and found that people who enjoy their weekends tend to live longer, and those who go on a few vacations each year have increased life span as well. Food for thought. Speaking of food, if you have ever been in the Boca Raton area have you noticed that the seniors eat really early. By early I mean dinner at four of five pm. In fact, I heard someone joke that the official bird of Florida is the "early bird." It makes sense though, because people probably have less heartburn from eating earlier in the day, and tend to go to bed sooner as well. Benjamin Franklin would certainly approve.
My brother Bruce and I also had the opportunity to check out some terrific gardens. I loved the lakes made of rocks and bonsai trees at Morikami Gardens, flamingos at the Flamingo Preserve, and the Everglades had some amazing wildlife as well.
We had a a great experience when went on a airboat tour with some of the indigenous people who lived in the Everglades. I was amazed when our guide fed a few alligators some bread. They must be good friends
What shocked me even more though was when Bruce and I were walking around the Everglades National Park we witnessed some alligators sunning themselves right next to the walking path. We were very fortunate to get on a guided tour by a ranger. He gave us excellent information about the state of the Everglades, and how burmese python's are destroying the ecosystem. Earlier we had learned from our other guide how pollution had driven the indigenous people from their floating islands within the Everglades, and that many of them now live next to the road.
I was also shocked when I witnessed an Asian man and his friend standing directly in front of a crocodile saying, "Is this real?"
I wanted to respond, "Get any closer and you're going to find out and become chopped suey." He even turned his back on the gator (Something I would never do). Fortunately alligators are usually not as aggressive as crocodiles.
Sometimes I also wonder if becoming a senior is contagious. Even though I am in my forties I hate it when cashiers ask if I want to use my "senior discount." "Fuck you!" I want to say. "Do I really look that old? I don't even qualify for AARP yet." I would rather not get 10% off and be considered younger. Another reason to take care of ourselves better and do more exercise.
Those gated communities baffle me too. They have building captains, clubhouses, and nosy neighbors that remind me of the KGB. My mother's neighbor said to her intrusively, "Did your sons leave?" or if they see an unfamiliar car in a space they may call security. Where is the trust? On the plus side, the developments are generally very safe, inexpensive, and in many ways like a small city that probably contributes to the seniors living longer. Although I can't tell you how many times I heard fire truck alarms probably because someone fell or had other issue. I guess it comes with the territory.
Even with all the faults of senior living ultimately my brother and I said our goodbyes reluctantly. I was in no rush to get back to work and New York. Even though it wasn't a true vacation, it was enough to be with family, to experience a different part of the world, to help my mother with various things, and see "How the other half lives." Also, the good news for the men is that if you live long enough "There are a lot of honeys."
Life Lesson 104: Life is a continuum. We all have the opportunity to make the most of it, and in each stage of life there are challenges and triumphs. David Bowie once asked, "Is there life on Mars?" I don't know, but in Boca Raton, life moves on, even if happens like the seniors, quite slowly.
Its 3 a.m. Florida time. I'm resting on the infamous guest bed whose huge bar is slowly making an indentation in my back. It's relatively quiet and all I can hear is the occasional screech of a tropical bird and the sounds of cars whizzing by. Although the breeze off the lake is refreshing. My brother Bruce and I are staying in my mother's apartment in one of Florida's many gated communities.
We decided to visit my mother during the presidents week vacation to get out of the New York cold. It's not often that my two jobs align that I have some free time to travel, but I'm glad I did. When I left New York the weather was 15 degrees, and I was worried the pipes in my house would break. When I arrived in Florida, the weather was 75 degrees. Quite a contrast. The trip there however was not without incident.
Next time, I won't travel on a holiday. I'll try to leave on the first flight to avoid the crowds, and maybe leave during the week. Also, if the airline asks do you want expedited security and extra legroom? It's always worth the extra money. Trust me. Oh, and sitting in the back of the plane while closer to the bathroom makes getting out a hardship.
JFK airport was a zoo at ten in the morning on the day I left, and getting to the gate seemed to take forever. Things only got worse when I got on the plane. I noticed it was full of children and their families. That was my first red flag. Then, one of the parents asked me if I would be willing to give up my seat so she could be with her kids. Now, I usually consider myself to be a pretty helpful person and doing mitzvahs (good deeds) is my thing. However, this time I wish I hadn't been so nice.
Really what I should have done is waited to see who would be sitting next to me, because the man who sat in the middle seat really should have purchased two seats. He reminded me of a Caucasian sumo wrestler with a large walrus-style mustache. He had more in common with the walrus than he might think. Not only was he extremely fat, but he kept coughing on me. The plane was completely full and I felt trapped. He also decided to open a large notebook and do work during the flight further restricting my available space.
I also forgot to bring my headphones so I heard everything on the plane which unfortunately for me also included a newborn baby sitting directly in front of me. How the airlines allow babies to sit on a plane without a seat baffles me. They won't allow a woman in her third trimester to fly, but a newborn, no problem. It also seemed apparent that the baby should have had their diaper changed more frequently as well.
Anyway, walrus-guy kept coughing, the baby keep crying, and I tried to rest any way I could. What angered me the most is that the dad who asked me to change seats, ended up sitting a row back sleeping with his headphones on, away from any discomfort. Having some turbulence didn't help either. I was filled with so much anger I felt like punching both of them right in the face, but after a few diaphragmatic breaths I was able to relax.
Thank God though the flight landed safely. However, when we were getting ready to disembark, the mother who I tried to help ended up hitting me in the head with one of her bags.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." She said apologetically.
"Just par for the course." I answered with a growl.
I looked down the narrow exit row of our airbus plane expectantly and kept saying to myself, "Let's go already."
Because we were very slow to deplane I ended up helping walrus-guy by getting his coat from the overhead rack. Like God, I often think I am slow to anger and quick to forgive.
Finally, the moment arrived and I left the plane with a sigh of relief, and walked into the sunshine state. Which they say can cure a lot of things, hopefully stress as well.
Life Lesson: It's often been said that no good deed goes unrewarded. I would add that good deeds are important, but don't expect a reward. In fact, expect the worst, and when all else fails, smile, shake your head no, and think of yourself first.
Pet peeves. We've all got them, or at least many of us do. For example, when did it get so popular to use "Happy" for any day of the week? like "Happy Wednesday." I get "Happy Birthday," or maybe even "Happy Friday" those makes sense to me on some level, but when did the days gain so much importance? I really don't want to be seen as negative, because that's not how I roll. However, I think "Happy Weekdays" should be minimized. Does anyone think similar? Or do you have a case of "The Mondays?"
Also on my mind is when people text when you are trying to have a conversation. They are constantly looking down at their phones and then look up and remark, "What did you say? " It's time that we make human conversation a priority. My niece told me that when she was at camp a while back, and was required to take a two month break from her phone, she felt that not using her phone to be very destressing not distressing.
It's not a bad idea to unplug once in a while, and take a technology break. (I say as I type at 4 a.m.) In fact, many people experience anxiety, carpal tunnel syndrome, neck pain, attention issues, memory problems, and even sleep disturbances due to their electronic devices. Is this really an improvement in our lives? We're losing out on the human connection, and quality sleep. The blue light from these devices can wreak havoc on our bodies.
I also know that woman tend to be better than men in multi tasking, but talking or texting and driving is extremely dangerous too no matter what your gender. There is research that the more activities we do as we drive, the probability of getting into a car crash increases. The campaign in New York, "That text can wait." is right.
The funny thing is that we are using our phones in strange places/times too, which is taking away from those experiences or makes them more complicated. I've seen/heard people using them in in the toilet, while using a urinal, riding a bike, riding a horse, and even at job interviews. Enough already. Would anyone stop having sex if the phone rang? It better not be a different booty call.
Red light cameras irk me too. Local government may claim they are only around to help with safety, but the reality is they are big money makers. In the area of several million dollars. I know on Long Island, there is one stretch of road where there are cameras every 1/4 mile. It's almost impossible to avoid getting caught. Even if you are trying to drive safely.
It also bothers me also when people don't respect our environment. I saw a guy put a cigarette out on a tree, or when people throw garbage out the windows of their cars (biodegradable not included) How about the people who are some adamant that global warming is a myth. The problem is that what if they're wrong, and we could have done something about it, but we were too late. In China their pollution levels are so high people can't breathe at times. Let's remember back to England during the Industrial revolution when "London fog" was really factory emissions. It's not just polar bears we need to worry about. In some time in the future we may reach "The Wheat Point." (Where food can no longer grow) and truly be out of luck.
Another thing that bothers me is when parents let their young children ride bicycles or rollerblade without helmets or wrist guards. I want to tell them that they are only one traumatic brain injury away from a huge problem. Laws are one thing, but enforcement and people following them are separate things.
Life Lesson 102: Watch what you say, watch what you do, viva su vida (Life your life) but remember we all live here too.
