Everyone's got monkeys, but some have more than others. The question is not whether we have one or not, but how to get rid of them or at best learn to deal with them as well as we can. Some people have addictions to drugs, food, fame, sex, love, or other such thing. Some have a combination (dual diagnosis)
All one needs to do is turn on the television to such shows as my strange addiction, and we can see there is some weird shit out there. Some of us want to overcome their paraphilias and some others do not. Others don't even realize they have a problem. MTV is just as rife with unusual monkeys as evident by their show MTV True Life. (A fave of mine)
How to get help? I wish I knew. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. A high school health teacher and college professor. Do I always make the right choices? Yeah right. The problem is that primitive drives are much stronger than rational thought. At least temporary.
Part of me feels that the AA model may be right for many people. You know the idea of one day at a time, realizing that you are powerless, and that with the support of other people we can overcome our bad decisions. I frequently tell my students it's not how smart we are, but how smart our decisions are.
The British model for dealing with alcohol addiction "Rational recovery." probably has merit too. The idea of drinking in moderation. Personally I think it's like methadone, and may not be helpful for everyone.
Sometimes I think about the movie A Beautiful Mind where the mathematician John Nash copes with psychiatric problems which seem all to real to him. On a side note I visited the mansion from the film at a park near Yonkers. Nash eventually realizes that his visions aren't real and rather than trying to eliminate them deals with them as well as he can. He acknowledges them and still goes about his day, realizing they can't control him. but rather he can control them, even if he can't eliminate them altogether. This strikes me as a pretty good philosophy.
There are other times that we know in our hearts that something or someone is wrong for us, but we rationalize that "we deserve it/them." etc. Charles Duggan in his excellent book The Power of Habit had it right too when he stated that you cannot eliminate a bad habit, but someone can replace it with something else. Ideally a healthy substitution. Example, people who are trying to quit smoking and add exercise to their lives tend to be more successful than those who just quit cold turkey.
Personally, I just came across an article from Men's Health
that one can overcome a sugar habit by adding hiking into your life. That's an article I am anxious to read. I also saw an article at my college that said when our blood sugar levels are low, we often make bad choices in general not just about eating. I would add that when we make one bad choices like eating one poor food, it often becomes a poor decision downward spiral. I suppose the best thing we can do is avoid the bad food in general, or use it as an occasional splurge, not as a way to medicate bad feelings such as shame or guilt.
Furthermore I feel that to crush that craving one needs to realize how any addiction or habit is affecting different aspects of ours lives, and that with commitment we can make progress in managing it. Note I didn't say eliminate altogether. Some of us can do this on our own. We can also seek help in group settings, spiritual help for those that appreciate it, positive substitutes, and most importantly work on our monkeys one day at time. I wish you all good luck, and remember it's a process. And that progress takes time and effort. Honor your achievements and learn from your mistakes. Don't berate yourself if you slip, because we're all human.
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