Story 71: Barney's worst nightmare

I don’t know what’s up with people these days.  People certainly have interesting taste when it comes to their clothing.  Yesterday, I was in NYC in the East Village, and saw an abundance of unusual outfits.  One woman was wearing what looked like a checkered table cloth with a small pineapple decorated bag, and see through shoes.  Another man had on a tuxedo top and bicycle shorts.  I really can’t make this stuff up.  You want to say, “Only in New York” but those people would probably dress unusual anywhere they lived.  If anything, I seem to stand out in that neighborhood with my Nike shirt and Bermuda shorts.

Speaking of clothing, my friend Michael always picks up traditional outfits from his travels around the world.  When I used to visit him at a consulate in NYC where he worked, he would inevitably take out a package from Lebanon, or a broom filled shirt from the country of Burkina Faso, designed by Nelson Mandela’s tailor.   He must have more than fifty shirts from different countries.  His wife though wishes he would just donate them, or in her words, “Put them in the attic.”  

      One time when Michael was working in a high school in Queens he had a Korean student.  Michael told him he had a hanbok, a traditional Korean outfit.  The student however didn't believe him.

"You don't have a hanbok." said the student.  Michael was dead set to prove him wrong and the next day wore a hanbok to work.

     "You do have a hanbok." said the student with amazement.  

      "I told you." Michael said with a smile.

  

      If it were up to Michael, he would wear a different one every day even to work.  Only time will tell if that will ever materialize.  My clothing choices are a lot more traditional.

Some people love clothing that is only one color.  Some people wear a lot of black, because they are goth, bouncers at a club, or just want to look slimmer.  I know a woman at my job who wears a lot of purple.  Another woman I knew named Mrs. Wright who worked at my old High School always wore purple clothes every day.  I asked her once, “Why do you always wear purple?”

“Well,” she replied, “I was unhappy until I met Mr. Wright” she said with a laugh, “ And he loves purple, but now I wear it it because I always match.”

“That’s great,” I told her.  “And for Halloween you could always dress as Barney.”

Mrs. Wright was bit overweight and as a result was not pleased at all at my remarks. Come to think of it, I think she never spoke to me again after that conversation, but continued to wear purple every day.

Life Lesson 71:  They say that clothes make the man, and to never ask what a woman weighs.  I would also add that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything, because even a woman who dresses all in purple, can turn a deep shade of red.