College always seems to be a time when reason flies out the window faster than tuition leaves a parent’s wallet. I went to SUNY. In fact, all of my family did, but unfortunately, we never received a group discount. While I was there and since graduating, I have heard many stories related to the police; some good, some bad, some just plain ugly, and here are few examples.
“Ma'am, it says here that you are supposed to be wearing prescription glasses.”
Realizing that she had forgotten her glasses, the girl thought for a moment and then replied,
“I have a prescription windshield.”
The officer was so surprised by the originality of her answer that he smiled, gave her back her license, and let her go.
My friend Steve was also once pulled over by a NYPD traffic cop. The officer thought he was talking on a cell phone, but in fact he was simply eating a sandwich. My friend tried to talk his way out of it, but was unsuccessful.
Then there is my friend Jerry. Jerry has always looked younger than his age, is a “part time comedian”, and has an affinity for driving old police cars. Many of the cars he has driven have over 300,000 miles on them, and always drives the largest car he can find, because he was once in a head-on collision and the only reason he survived he believed was because he was in a very large car. Jerry prefers to drive his cars with the seat pushed all the way back like he is getting ready to be in a space shuttle launch.
Watching Jerry lock his vehicle up at night is always an adventure. He treats his car like a valuable treasure. He doesn’t simply activate an alarm like the average person, but rather detaches the battery and often wraps a thick metal chain around the steering wheel for extra protection, but for what reason I will never know.
In the past, Jerry always used to complain about his bad luck. He has driven into deer while driving at night, once had his directions fly out the window at a highway toll, and his car has broken down too many times to count.
In the fall of 1986 Jerry was driving up to college for the first time when he was pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper took one look at Jerry sitting on several telephone books and remarked kindly,
“Son, you don’t have to run away there are places for you to go.”
“Officer, I swear I'm going to college.” Jerry replied as he showed the officer the acceptance letter on the front seat. The officer looked at the letter doubtfully, looked at Jerry, shook his head a few times, and then let Jerry go.
A few years later in 1988, our long-time friend Michelle, who lives in the Bronx a few miles from Jerry needed a ride up to school. Jerry offered to help her get there. Along the way, his car broke down not once but twice. The first time Jerry was able to fix the problem, but the second time Michelle lost all patience. A biker named Melvin pulled over to see what the problem was and while Jerry tinkered on his car, she and the biker shared a joint together. Michelle ultimately decided to take a lift with the biker and they laughed the whole way up to school.
“I’ll call the police for you.” Michelle stated with a wink at Melvin the biker, as the bike roared away, and Jerry did what he does best when he doesn’t know what to do, simply shrugged.
Life Lesson 15: What can I possibly say?, but try not to multi-task while driving, know the right things to say to a police officer, and always make sure your car is working properly. In addition, pick the right person to drive with, because all these things could make your trip a great deal easier, and help you on any road you may take in life literally or figuratively.
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