Story 8: Hot Times in the Holy Land

 

        They say that some things are the spice of life. Well, occasionally they can also be too spicy.  Two examples in particular stand out in my mind. One took place in Israel and the other one in America.

In 1988 I was a student at Tel Aviv University.  One of my favorite classes was Kibbutz 101 which had one great perk. Free lunch once a week.  It was pretty healthy too and included lots of vegetables.  Just the right class for a student on a budget.

 A few weeks into the term, I was having lunch with a some of my friends, when I started eating what I thought was Hezliah or babaganouch for the laymen (eggplant salad). But I was wrong, horribly wrong.  It wasn’t eggplant but rather Harif (hot pepper) Now Israelis like things spicy, but I like to know when it’s coming.  My mouth felt like it was on fire, and I started downing water as if I had just come from a day in the Sinai Desert, but my friend said,

“No, water only makes it worse.”

I looked around helplessly until he gave me cottage cheese.  So, without hesitation I started to pound the cottage cheese like I was doing jello shots, and you know what it actually made me feel better immediately.

You would have thought I had learned a lesson, but years later I was at a former girlfriend’s father’s birthday party. They had sushi, and if you knew me you would know that I am a big sushi lover.  I saw guacamole in an avocado.

“How clever." I thought to myself. but really I wasn’t, because it wasn't guacamole but rather wasabi mustard.  I ate a huge piece of fish covered in green mustard and the world started to spin again.

“Not again.” I gasped.

Japanese people are usually lactose intolerant so unfortunately there was no cheese in sight. Looking around quickly I fortunately found a bowl of brown rice, and swallowed the whole dish like a bird swallowing a grouper.

My girlfriend came over and stared, “Are you ok?” She asked.

“Fine.”  I replied, but she seemed unconvinced. Eventually I recovered, but from then on whenever I eat something new I always ask questions about how spicy it is.  Although local people are inconsistent in answering whether it is really spicy or not.  What they think is mild frequently isn't. ex. Thai food.

Life Lesson Eight: If they had a fortune cookie at the meal, even though it was Japanese, it might have said:   Those who ignore the lessons of history are destined for their food to repeat on them, and  sometimes it will end up on the floor. I guess mistakes are what makes us human, but when it comes to to making food choices, remember to always choose wisely.