Address the birthday stress

   


      Today's my mother's birthday, and although birthdays are generally considered happy occasions especially when we are young, so many people these days are reluctant to tell others how old they really are, when their birthdays are coming up, or even make a big deal about them. Why? Why not celebrate? It's all about how you look at your life. Are you happy with it?, or is something holding you back from enjoying the moment.  Life is full of moments.  We need to remember to carpe diem. Especially milestones with those we love.

    A lot of people don't want to be reminded that they are growing older. To see so many candles on their birthday cake. I remember a time when my grandmother was having a birthday and our dog Peppy, licked the top off the cake.  I feel a bit guilty telling you the truth that we still gave it to her.  We never told her what really happened.  Why spoil the moment? Everyone even Peppy got to celebrate her special day. and that's the way it should be.  I tell my students that even if you are by yourself on your birthday you should try to as Walt Whitman once said, "To celebrate yourself."

    Tonight, we took my mother to a nice Mexican restaurant called Besitos.  I told my family that spending time together was the highlight of my day, and it really was.  It wasn't just that the restaurant was voted the best mexican on Long Island and had delicious desserts too, it was because we were together.  and as the research shows that when we spend time with positive people, we experience emotional contagion of feel good feelings. That's what we should strive to do.

    I recently enjoyed watching the film "Happy" it looked at what makes people happy around the world. Interestingly, in some hunter-gatherer societies such as in Namibia, where few have things like IPhones, their happiness instead is doing things together ex. singing, dancing, etc. and when people are ill the whole village rallies together to help one another. It really does take a village to make a difference in someone's life, not just a child's. 

      Finally, when we were leaving the restaurant the waitress gave us all little Mexican worry dolls to put under our pillows that supposedly help reduce our stressors.  I am going to give that a shot too, to see if it helps. You never know. 

Buenas noches, and feliz compleanos to mi madre.

 It's been said that it's not the amount of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.  Savor those truly special times, as well as the precious moments with those we love. For that is a birthday gift we all could use.